From The Smoke (Marvel)

Chapter 27

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Disclaimer: If you recognise it, surprise, I don't own it.

Chapter 27– Confused Feelings.

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Sitting in the Daily Grind, looking out of the window at the outside world, I try to clear my head and sort out all the crap that is wafting around in there. But, of course, what with my superior biology and physique, the drugs and other stuff we had last night are not affecting me at all. My body has already expunged the toxins, but that is not the shit that is clouding my mind. Because it seems that my enhanced biology also allowed me to have great recollection even when under the influence, and I remember pretty clearly what went on yesterday.

I remember all the stuff about Fisk and Felecia's final mission, and I am just fine with all of that, but it is the more personal stuff that has me in a kerfuffle. Like the fact, she tried to kiss me, and for some stupid fucking reason, I stopped her and told her I didn't want to do anything with her while we were high. Meaning that I wanted to do things properly with her in my usual state of mind. I was very high. Why the hell did I say that?

And then what the hell was she on about? She would finish up and then leave with me? Make a new identity and start a new life somewhere together? Away from all of this, just a simple ordinary life without all this crazy New York shit. It doesn't make sense. This doesn't seem like something the Felecia from the comics would ever do. She was Black Cat first and Felecia Hardy second, so why would she say that? Did she actually mean it?

And then what about me? I know I said I would stop being so afraid and start living my life before one of the random all-powerful beings decides to go heavy on Earth, and I die in the crossfire, but there is a difference between fear and good sense. I want to live my life doing what I want and having a good life, and hanging around Felecia, who is a magnet for trouble that is depicted to look out for herself first and foremost, seems to go against that. So then, are my desires at odds? I want a good life, but Felecia might upset that? So the question is, do I also want Felecia..? I wish I never did that weed.