The Playboy's Misfortune

23: Pity

"The fighting is done and nobody's won,
So now we're just laying here with steaming empty guns
And half of my heart has always been yours,
So now I'm just laying here in pieces on the floor"

~-~-~

I took another drag of my cigarette.

But nothing was helping.

The pain was very much alive in my chest.

"Stop that shit," Jim muttered and snatched it from me. He threw it down the railing of the stairs we were leaning on.

It was around 2 am and Jim had brought me outside for some damp cold air. I had smoked around three cigarettes in a row but nothing was working.

"Don't look so hopeless," he whispered while staring at the blaring cars on the road.

"There's just one percent chance, Jim. What the fuck am I supposed to do?"

"There is one percent. You have to stay strong for her and Lucy."

I didn't reply.

The minutes rolled on as we continued to stare in silence.

"I don't have any insurance to cover the costs."

Jim glanced at me, "We'll find a way-"

"Stop saying that for fucks sake!" I snapped at him, "I don't have a penny on me. How much do you think the surgeries are going to cost?! No fucking insurance, no bank balance, nothing! If she's going to die anyway, let them pull the damn plug!" I yelled and marched back inside.

***

I tried to close my eyes in an attempt to sleep.

The metal chairs weren't comfortable.

They were hurting my back as I leaned my head on the wall.

The bed at home was far better than this.

Maybe because I had Chelsea's naked body in my arms.

Her skin pressed against mine as I violated her. The horny moans and bold gestures. The way she had an angelic face with the dirtiest of intentions.

Her desperate, childish, and pathetic way of confessing her love for me.

But she was beautiful.

Especially when she was playing with Lucy in her arms.

"My sweet, sweet rainbow cupcake! Oh, I just want to gobble you up!"

Her voice was too familiar in my head.

Chelsea would nibble on Lucy's cheek right after saying that.

Lucy would giggle and squirm in her mother's hands.

And I would ruin the moment by judging my wife.

My eyes shot open when a doctor came out of the room yelling for assistance.

"She's had a seizure!"

A few others ran into the room with their equipment. I was on edge again.

What was the jerk up there planning next?

***

A tap on my shoulder woke me up, it was the older doctor from before.

My entire body felt stiff when I stood up. It was already morning and the hospital seemed to be bustling with life again. "You could have gone home, Mr.Xander..." The doc said upon realizing how tense I was.