Anonymous Journal - Lucy

June 2. Fuck my life.

Its not even awful right now yet I'm the worst I've been in forever. i hate it. i hate me.

i shouldn't be upset and I'm not usually. everything is good. honestly it is. he's amazing and i love him and id be dead without him probably. really if it weren't for him this entry would be a suicide note.

I'm just fucking tired. I'm worn out and theres only so much shit i can fucking do before i just need a break but theres never a fucking break it just goes on and on and on and on. i can't escape my life and i don't want to deal with it right now. it just hurts. it either hurts or it feels numb and i don't want it to be true but as i write this i know it is. i know I'm getting bad again and i know why and i hate it.

i only feel okay when his arms are around me. thats when i know I'm safe and i know I'm not gonna die and i know i won't go home and swallow rat poison or pills or hang myself. i just can't deal with how my life is.

school sucks

people suck

i hate this

i hate this