my step-brother's best friend // ziam

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Nineteen

Zayn’s POV

The next morning, Liam and I got back to the Styles’ flat. Liam was a bit wobbly which was quite adorable to watch, but at the same time it pained me to know that I caused his pain… He was also marked with many love bites as I was too, but as many love bites as he got, it seemed as they weren’t enough to prove my love and ownership over him so I always wanted to nibble his neck and prove others he was taken and all mine.

Anyways, as we entered the home Liam went upstairs to take a shower leaving me with a peck in the lips and the taste of his lips lingering in my mouth.

“Hey,” Harry walked out from the kitchen awkwardly a couple of minutes later with a glass of orange juice in hand. I’m almost positive he didn’t notice Liam’s wobbliness so that’s a worry to check off my list.

My back was leaning against the closed front door as I observed Harry’s figure. He was leaning against a wall, one foot against it the other on the floor as he watched me sipping his orange juice. It was an extremely awkward silence and I just didn’t know what to do.

“Um, hi,” I replied.

“So… I guess there’s nothing I can do about you two, eh?” Harry said more to himself than to me.

I shrugged and swallowed the lump in my throat, “I suppose?”

Harry sighed and took a last sip of the orange juice on a nearby table, “Follow me and join me,” Harry said as he sat down on the coach.

I followed his steps and sat beside him leaving a decent amount of space between us.

“So…” I said breaking the tension.

“Look I realized something… Um,” Harry said, “Liam… he… he really loves you, you know…? When you weren’t here… He… He um…. He was real sad… He was an asshole to me for the first time ever… I mean… I know I deserved it and all but… um… it hurts you know? He wasn’t just an asshole… He was a depressed and sad asshole which made me hurt even more…”

“What do you mean depressed?” I said more seriously.

“One time… I heard the backyard door open and…”

---Flashback---

Liam’s POV

I checked the time 10:52PM. Harry must be away at someone’s house or getting ready to party the night away or he could be home for all I know, but I didn’t care… I was too stressed. I was sitting in my bed, falling tears causing wet spots in my bed sheets. My hands were fisting my hair and tugging at it.

“Stop crying… Stop crying…” I kept telling myself, but no matter what it didn’t help. I was so pissed off at everything.

I guess my sadness just sort of formed into madness and pissed off-ness. But, sometimes instead of coming out as anger it came off as tears, more tears than usual which caused me to get mad.

I tried to calm myself down, but I knew that one of the best remedies to calm myself down was singing… Singing always made me calm down…

I left my room as silent as possible; I had a box of matches in hand and a candle… I neared the backyard’s door and opened it quietly. I tip toed down the porch steps and into the backyard’s grass. I observed the beautiful night sky, it was nearly pitch black outside except for the fluorescent moon and the shining stars giving away light. I let my tears run freely down my cheek as I lighted my candle to allow me to see the night better. I blew away the match and threw the box of matches to the side.

I took a deep breath and let it out shakily as I let my vocal chords take me away to a more relaxed place as I sang, “Papa, can you hear me?”

I sobbed, but I didn’t mind the sobs I just kept going, “Papa, can you see me? Papa, can you find me in the night?”

“Papa, are you near me? Papa, can you hear me?” I concentrated on the candle light as it flickered and moved around with the cold wind of the summer night.

“Papa, can you help me not be frightened?” I looked up at the sky letting the lyrics linger around the air as new ones took the place of them.

“Looking at the skies I seem to see a million eyes which ones are yours?” My voice was shaky, but I carried on strongly.

“Where are you now that yesterday has waved goodbye and closed its doors?” Tears flooded my vision and ran down my cheeks.

“The night is so much darker…” I looked down at the grass, “The wind is so much colder…”

I looked up at the sky and sobbed as I hit the finishing notes, “The world I see is so much bigger now that I'm alone…” I bit my lip and closed my eyes, but even with my eyes closed the tears kept running down my cheeks.

I heard a window close lightly behind me, it was probably Harry, but I didn’t mind him. I just stayed outside letting the cold, blistering air absorb me and my tears flood me.

I slowly opened my lips letting a gust of air go out of them to blow out the candle and with that I stayed in the pitch black night looking up at the stars wondering what Zayn was up to and how he was doing…

---End of Flashback---

“…And well, that’s how I realized, he really likes you,” Harry looked down at his hands which he was fiddling with, “You… You should’ve heard his voice… It was… It was full of pain, not because of his tears or sobs… but… but, it was full pain…. It was heartbreaking to hear… He… He really loves you…”

Harry didn’t even let me start my own sentence he just kept on rambling, “He… Zayn, he’s cried himself to sleep every night… I hear him… He thinks I don’t, but I do… I compared how sad he was before with how happy he is around you and… I have nothing to say, but…”

Harry looked up from his hands and into my eyes, “I approve… I mean, not that my opinion matters… But, I approve… He’s happy and that’s all I want from my brother… Just… Make sure he stays happy…”

I was speechless. I just smiled widely, “Of course, I’ll try my hardest to always make him happy and if I ever make him cry you have every right to beat me up.”

Harry smirked that cheeky smirk and laughed, “Deal,”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

A/N: Yay new part... I kind of procrastinated ((((((((((a lot))))))))))))) on writing this chapter bc well.... i'm a lazy fuck first of all... second bc im sick... and well third bc i don't want this book to end -sob sob- i actually had fun writing this book aw aw yeah tears time and now that i put up this chapter that means i only have 2 chapters to go and baam the book is closed and left to suck up some dust aw aw sob sob :( so yeah there u have my reasonsing as to why i will probably update late ((((((((most likely bc im a lazy fuck who procrastinates even tho she's doing nothing, oh))))))))) you should also go read my first chapter on He's Just An Illusion (((aka my narry fan fic))) bc i finally put up the first chapter hyfr omg

anywaysssssssss, the liam part of him going out and singing "Papa Can You Hear Me" was a request frommmmmmmm: Mrs_Gleek4ever so all applauses for that request go out to herrrrr so yup i hope i did your request justiceeeeeeeeeeee. [[idk why i won't let me add the song sigh]]

bye guys thanks for reading and supporting and voting and commenting gotta go do homework writing this was my way of procrastinating on doing homework (((((((((((i probably wont do homework till late oh)))))))))))))))) okay bye love u guys lots c'ya on the next update (: