Bound In Secrets

Coffee Chat

Sawyer

It's after midnight by the time we head to bed, which is nothing new, considering I own a bar and sometimes get calls before closing. Luckily, it was smooth tonight with Jeremy and Cruise, both making sure it all ran smoothly. I have Jeremy in charge of security and Cruise is my manager who occasionally works at the bar if we are short-staffed or become swamped.

For the first time in the past five years, memories of what happened to me when I was fifteen are coming back. My trauma came back to haunt me, even though I have dealt with it. These memories shouldn't be resurfacing now that I'm thriving. Maybe the boys being back is making them come to the forefront.

I wake up an hour before dawn screaming again, covered in sweat from my nightmare. There is no way I'm going back to sleep, so I check on the children to make sure I didn't wake them. Just as I'm closing Darius's bedroom, there is a loud knock on my door.

I throw the door open with a growl. "What do you want this early in the morning? I swear if you woke..." I stop mid-sentence, realizing that it is once again Storm.

"At least I didn't break down the door this time," he smirks. He clears his throat, shifting on his bare feet. He is wearing a pair of ripped, washed-out blue jeans on his muscular legs. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I heard you scream again."

I wonder how often I've woken up my other neighbors lately with my screams. At least my daughters sleep through them. Honestly, they both could sleep through a tornado, so I don't know why I worry.

I sigh. "I'm fine. Do you want some coffee since I woke you?" I ask him, feeling a little guilty but mostly exhausted.

I shouldn't be letting Storm inside with the kids at home, but when he is near, I still feel completely safe. After that nightmare, I could use his comfort so that I'm not tempted to wake one of my children by climbing into a twin bed with one of them to hold close. They are the light in my darkness.

I open the door to admit Storm. He closes it for me while I move to the kitchen to make some coffee. I just have a single-serve coffee maker since it's just me and I have no need for a big pot.

Storm leans against the counter as I make coffee.

I buy my coffee locally since it's better than many brand names out there. I just prefer to shop locally. The town supports my business, so I might as well support the small businesses in town. It's my little way of giving back to the community I love living in.

I hand Storm the first steaming mug. "I'm invading your privacy lately. I'm sorry, it's just your screams...trigger me." He sips the coffee as I stare at him. "It woke the others too, so they left for the gym while I offered to check on you."

"Why would my screaming force you guys out of bed? It's just nightmares," I say dismissively. I have my theories on why it might trigger him, but I'm going to wait him out to see if he will divulge it.

"In our experience, those types of screams mean something other than a nightmare. It means someone is dying or dead by the time we arrive. We are all fucked up," Storm replies, sounding haunted. Storm's eyes are dark as coal this morning.

I wonder if what he has been through has caused him to no longer feel the burden of witnessing death. A shiver runs down my spine, but I cover it up by drinking my coffee. I will not prompt him to explain why they are messed up, instead, I'm going to wait him out. He will tell me when he is ready.

"Well, come sit with me on the couch," I suggest. He nods, following me. We both sit on opposite ends of my sectional.

"So, do you have a girlfriend?" I ask, steering the conversation to a safer topic.

"No."

"When did you move back?"

"Last week."

"How's your mom?"

"Fine."

What is with his succinct sentences? I wish he would talk more. This is becoming awkward. Storm isn't asking me questions, but I've already told him about the bar and my father. He knows there is no man in my life.

We sit in silence just drinking our coffee.

When we are done, he rinses the mugs, placing them in the sink. I'm too busy drooling over his perfect physic to realize he has spoken to me. "Huh?"

He chuckles. "I said thank you for the coffee. I've got to go meet the guys before you have us all in this apartment."

I snap back to reality. "Sure. Yeah. Okay. You're welcome." That is all I can force out. Storm smiles at me, but it doesn't reach his eyes.

"Later, my Bonnie," he says, pausing at the door.

I tilt my head to the side. My. I'm not his. Then again, I have been referring to him and the others as mine. What is wrong with us? None of us are together and I doubt we will be again.

"Bye, Clyde," I breathe out and then he shuts my front door.

If I hadn't already sat down on the couch, I would have fallen to the floor. I'm not a weak woman, but in the wake of Storm Benson, I become one. I cannot let him do this to me. I have to harden my heart against him before it gets broken once again.

"Who were you talking to?" Darius asks from the doorway of his room, rubbing tired eyes with the back of one hand and carrying his favorite fluffy anime blanket in the other.

"An old friend of Mommy's stopped by to have coffee with her," I reply, scooping him up in my lap.

"Will your friend be my friend?" I'm unsure how to respond to Darius's hopeful question.

Storm will either not want to have anything to do with me when he learns of the children or work on getting to know them. If it's the latter, I will hunt him down to castrate him if he dares to leave. Nobody hurts my babies and gets away with it.

"I'm not sure, Hachiman. Anyone would be an idiot to not be friends with you. You're so lovable." I assure him and then cause him to squeal as I rub my face against his.

Hachiman is the Japanese Shinto god of war, archery, divination, and culture. He is the patron of a warrior clan.

My son earned that nickname from my uncle the moment he was born. He is a warrior who had to fight for his life being premature. He was born at 32 weeks with an underdeveloped heart and lungs. For two months he was in NICU. He is my powerful warrior.