Want Me (BoyxBoy)

-14-

-Wes-

Okay, I may not be fully gay...

Just because I did what I did last night doesn't necessarily have to be defined down to one word, right? I mean, there's a lot of things I could be. And hell, it could've just been a one time thing. I don't really have to dwell on it... But I'm not exactly sure if I want that to only be a one time thing.

I wonder what he thought of it. Did it feel as good to him as it did for me? He's done so much more, I doubt bumping uglies felt that good to him. I wonder what would have happened if Mom never called. What would have happened after I came? Would he have wanted to go farther? Did he jerk off after I left like I did? So many questions.

I still can't believe I did all that with him. I went from just wanting to hang out to not wanting to get naked to almost whipping it out. I can't help it. He messes with my head sometimes, and I make rash decisions.

I wonder if Alyx has noticed anything different with me today. I know he suspects something's going on, but I don't think he has any idea what it could be. As long as Amaya hasn't told him anything. We haven't talked too much on this Friday because he's been moping about Amaya being suspended and ignoring him. I don't get why girls do that. It's so annoying. I chew on my lip. Like I haven't been doing the same to Ryland. Whatever. If he texts me today, I'll reply right away.

What sucks the most about hiding this from Alyx is I want to tell him. If Ryland was a girl, I would have texted Alyx last night and told him that we hooked up. Did Ryland possibly tell his friends? Does he even have other friends besides Amaya and the guy in prison? Oh, god, I hope he didn't tell Amaya. Maybe he wouldn't. I feel like he's the type to keep his sex life private. Then again, this is Ryland. He's very open, blunt, and honest with what he wants. So if he wanted to tell her, he possibly would. I doubt he did, though. Maybe? Maybe he didn't, considering I'm still debating on what I want to do.

I've established that I like him. I thought about it some more before falling asleep, and I don't have any doubts about it anymore. The only thing I'm afraid of is the stigma involved with being gay. And the penetration...

I wonder what he would want to do this weekend. He did want to hang out, and Mom already said I could. I'd rather go to his place again. That way I can be comfortable. Having him at my house is stressful. Something could happen that leads to us getting found out.

He hasn't text me all day, and it's already four o'clock. Why hasn't he text me? Especially after what we did last night. Plus, I thought he wanted to hang out this weekend. I don't know how I'd act normal around him, but I was willing to give it a try.

Another hour passes with no word from him. The more time that passes the more I think he's an asshole. Why is he ignoring me? He told me he wasn't doing anything this weekend. What? Did he really make plans with someone else? Why should I even care? He can do whatever the fuck he wants.

After another hour, I'm getting pissed. Not wasting any time with texting, I call him, bringing my phone up to my ear. The rings seem to drag out longer than usual, and when he finally answers, I realize I don't even know what to say.

"Hello?"

"Hey. What's up?" he says, nonchalantly.

"Why haven't you text me?"

"Huh?"

"You haven't texted me. I thought you wanted to hang out, but since you never texted me, I guess not."

I can hear a little bit of laughter come from him. "Were you waiting on my text?"

"N-no." Yes.

"Why didn't you just text me? Maybe I was waiting on you to do the same thing."