Want Me (BoyxBoy)

-20-

Quick A/N- I want to say happy birthday (tho it's tomorrow) to one of my fav readers for the past year that I've also became friends with in the past month! @sassy2369 (can't tag on my laptop)

Thanks for reaching out to me and for sharing interests with me! I'm glad you're loving Ateez as much as me haha!! I hope you have a fantastic day!! And since you live in a different country, this is the best I can do with a gift! I hope you enjoy reading one of your favorite couples that you also gave a ship name. Here's more Ryley!!

*A little bit of mature thoughts/talk

-Wes-

We only got to watch one more episode before Mom called me asking me where I was. Seeing her again after what happened felt so weird. Like she knew what her son just did, though I know she doesn't. I feel like everyone I see is going to look at me like they know something. I'm just being paranoid, I know. I still don't regret it, though. Considering I jerked off every night for the past week with the image of him doing that again, I don't think I regret it at all.

Today is the second day this week I'm going to see him. He wanted to yesterday and the day before, but I let my shyness get in the way. Plus, I did have some homework I had to do both days. But it's Friday, I have no homework, and he wants to see me again... for another date. I can't say I don't want to go on one, but I just feel nervous to be around him. He leaks sex appeal, and I know a little bit of what he's capable of now.

I also did something else this week... I watched more porn. Gay porn. Specifically a blowjob scene. Though all my mind thought of was him while watching it. It ended up turning to sex real fast, and I ended up cutting it off before any penetration happened, though I have been considering that a little more. Barely! I've mainly been considering it for him. I want to be able to give him that one day. I even considered trying out what he suggested. Well, I wouldn't really say 'considered'. More like the thought popped into my head. But I obviously didn't act on it.

And for some reason, sex seems easier to do than giving him head. I don't know why since anal sex sounds painful, but I don't know how I'd feel being the one on my knees looking up at him. It makes me feel weird. Like he has more power than me, and I don't like that. Even when he was the one on his knees, he overpowered me. Does that just come with being the bottom? I want to be equals at least.

Maybe it's because he's more confident than me. But how the hell am I supposed to not be shy around him when he's so much hotter than me? I don't care what he says about me. It's easier when you know you're hot. I don't think I'm ugly or anything, but I definitely don't look as good as him. I don't think I'll ever have his level of confidence in sex, either. I've only seen one naked body in real life. I know he's seen more, so he knows what he's doing feels good. I've never touched his type of body before either. I doubt I could even pleasure him.

Once seated in my car at the end of the day, he calls me.

"Hey," I say after answering.

"Hey. Did you have a good week?"

"Yeah." Besides the constant sex thoughts that have been occupying my mind.

"That's good. So, what about that date? You never texted me back."

"We just went on one last weekend," I point out, pulling my seatbelt on.

"Yeah, but don't most couples go on dates during the weekend?"

"I guess so," I mumble.

"So, you're going to let me take you on one?" he questions.

"I guess so," I repeat, knowing I want to go probably just as much as he does.