Switchblade

Chapter 51: Everyone's Confused

Tati was taking a shower after she'd woken up on top of Killian. He'd fallen back asleep before she'd gotten up so the two still hadn't spoken.

She just stood there in thought as she lathered up, zoned out.

She'd lost it.

She couldn't believe it.
She could believe it but she...couldn't.
Especially the part where she lost it to the man that she'd lost it to.
She didn't know what she wanted to do.
She felt like she'd lost her mind.
She just stood there and let the water rinse off her soap suds for the third time.

She finally turned the shower head off and stepped out with a towel wrapped around her.

She looked into the mirror.
Part of her wanted to cry.
The tears rose.
She slid down the wall of the bathroom and just sat on the floor, hugging herself in her arms while wrapped in her towel.
In her eyes, she gave the most sacred thing she had to someone she'd only known for a month who she also knew didn't care about her and just wanted her for sex.
He won.
She hid her face in her hands and cried.

~•~

Killian finished getting dressed and left his closet.

He didn't have to leave until later in the afternoon. He figured he should go back to check on Tati. Once he woke up and saw she was taking a shower, he went to his room to do the same.

Tati couldn't hear his soft footsteps as she sat on her bed due to him walking around in his socks. It added to his terrifying ability to maneuver without making a sound.

Killian walked into her room and saw her wipe her cheek.

"You alright?" he asked, confused.
She wiped her face quickly. "Yea."
He wondered what could make her cry. She didn't even have any sources of media in the room.
"You're hungry, aren't you? I'm sorry." She stood up with her head down and began to walk towards the kitchen.
Killian grabbed her hand and gently pulled her back to stand in front of him.
He lifted her head and saw how red her eyes were while she averted them elsewhere to prevent eye contact.

"What's wrong?" he asked.
"Nothing. I said I was okay."
"Then why were you crying?"
"I just miss my mom." she replied.
He let her go.
She kept walking.

He stood there in thought while Tati made it to the kitchen and fanned her eyes.

It was too late in the day to get started on breakfast.

She decided to make some nice sandwiches for lunch.

Killian walked into the kitchen and looked at her as she maneuvered around.
Her face still looked sad.
He wondered if she was in pain.
He started overthinking. Which he didn't know he could do.

He remembered he hadn't done anything extreme. The only bruises she had were small hickeys on her neck. Did he go too far? Too hard? How sensitive is she? That didn't even break the surface of what he wanted to do.
He was afraid that if he did it too roughly, it would contribute to how she didn't trust him. And he didn't like that feeling, so he tried being as gentle as possible the night before.

He walked over to her and stopped her when he grabbed onto her waist and hoisted her onto the counter.

Tati just stared at him in shock.

"What's wrong? Are you in pain?" he asked sternly.
"What? No...?"
"Would you tell me if you were?"
"I think so."
"Then what's wrong?"
"Nothing..."
"Tati, I've seen you every day for the past month. I know what your face looks like normally. It's not this."
She didn't want to tell him. She assumed it would only resort in another argument about how she views him.

"Look at me, mama." he instructed.
She realized she was looking away again and her eyes found his.

"You mad at me?" he asked.
She shook her head. "No..."
He didn't believe her. He sighed, knowing she clearly didn't want to tell him and wondering why he cared so much to begin with. Him housing her for the next few months wasn't supposed to affect him. And it had only been a single month. What was he supposed to expect from the next five?

Tati looked at him as he rested his hands on the counter at either side of her and his head was down in thought. She wondered what was wrong with him now.

"Can...I get down now?" she asked.
Killian moved out of the way and walked out of the kitchen to head back upstairs.
She got down and saw him go away.

~•~

"Where is Kil?" Doc asked.
"He said he was on his way a few minutes ago." Kolson answered.

The door opened.

"You're late." said Doc.
Killian didn't answer, he just took his seat.

"Segal was brought to the department. In the time being, I got guys headed over to his warehouse to fool around."
"Thought you were gonna send me." Killian spoke up.
"For what?"
He didn't know. He had nothing else to do. He wanted his mind off his current thoughts.
"Figure out what you want to do when he's free. I'm not sending you in to treat a warehouse like a piñata. Waste of man power." Doc explained.
Killian just went into his pocket and pulled out his cigarette carton.

"Should we do something about Drake?" Silas asked.
"Not yet. But I want you to keep tabs on him. He should never leave my eyes and ears. That'll be a bigger pawn in the game if Segal continues to fuck with me."
"Yes, sir."
Killian lit his cigarette and inhaled. He then put the lighter back into his suit jacket pocket.

His thoughts were eating him alive while he smoked.

He sat manspreading with one hand on his arm rest as his leg bounced and he stared blankly at the table.

"When-..." Doc got distracted and looked at his nephew.

The rest of the men's eyes followed.

I took your virginity and you barely talk to me the next morning?
I fucked you and you don't say a word unless you're forced to?
What?
He scoffed and inhaled his tobacco.
Why do I care?
I don't fucking care but why is she not talking to me?
Like...
Like it was bad...
It wasn't bad. I watched her face. I read her body like a fucking book. She twitched under me. I saw it. I felt her clench around my dick, I know it wasn't fucking bad and what does she have to compare it to? I'm the best she's gonna get.
Am I losing my mind?
Why won't she talk to me?
I don't care. But why won't she?

Killian's eyes lifted from the table when his uncle slammed his hand down onto it to get his attention. Everyone else flinched.

"Have you lost your mind?" Doc asked.
"What?" Killian questioned.
"You zoning out in my meeting?"
Killian sighed.
Doc glared at him before finally getting back on track.

"Segal went to Clement to talk about expanding his buildings. Which means he's growing in general and his current office isn't enough."
Killian tried his hardest to pay attention.
"Which means it'll start to become harder to keep tabs on him and racking up evidence on what he did to get him locked up and out of my way."
The men gave a nod.
"You assholes at this table are gonna separate into groups and watch over mine that are near him. Anybody without authorization steps foot on the property and you put a bullet in their brain."
"Yes, sir." they agreed.
"Get out of my office."

Killian was first to get up and put his cigarette back between his lips as he walked quickly out of the room to head home.
Doc stared and leaned back in his seat.

"One of you figure out what's the matter with him." Doc instructed as he watched his door slowly close behind Killian. "He ain't scary when his mind's occupied."