The Queen (Harry Styles)

Chapter 27

Don't kill me

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It was now the beginning of September. The summer weather disappeared and was replaced by a considerably cooler weather. The once green trees were slowly starting to transform into vibrant forms of yellows and oranges. It was stunning outside and this was my favorite time of year.

I sat at a small desk in my quarters, my legs crossed and I sipped at my juice. I could hear Harry talking to Mrs. Willer about what he wanted for breakfast. My eyes were looking out the window absentmindedly. Thoughts of what happened last month flashed through my mind, I still couldn't seem to get it out of my mind. Harry didn't know, I kept tis concealed from him. They were my troubles, not his. 

In the back of my mind, I did know that it wasn't a good thing for me to conceal these thoughts I had from my family, but I didn't want to talk about it. The fact that I took someone's life and have to live with that for the remainder of mine may eat me alive. Harry knew what I did, yet he walked around with a dimpled smile on his face, and he's even taken lives from people.

"Alright," Harry cheered, clapping his hands together. I turned to look at him. "You okay?" he asked, his hand pressing gently against my upper back. He leaned down to look at me with a soft look in his green eyes.

"Yeah," I nodded quietly. "I'm fine."

He smiled and gave me a kiss on the cheek. He sat down across from me and called Phoenix over to him. She was propped on the bed and hopped off with a loud thud. She pranced up to him and began to excitedly lick his face. He smiled at her, scratching her ears.

"Em," he said. I looked at him. "You sure you're alright? You don't look well."

"I'm fine," I nodded. "Just tired."

"You're sure?"

No. I'm not sure. I wanted to say. 

"I'm sure," I mustered, conjuring the best smile on my face I could. 

Harry seemed satisfied by my answer, a grin appearing on his face. I frowned to myself wondering how he couldn't see right through me? I was able to tell when something was off with him, but he couldn't do that to me right now. 

I thanked Mrs. Willer as she set my breakfast in front of me. I stabbed my fork into my eggs, taking them in. I could feel Harry's eyes watching me in silence. It was making me uncomfortable how he just seemed to watch me. I shifted in my chair as a response, keeping my eyes on my plate. I heard the cling of Harry's silverware as Mrs. Willer left the room.

"Okay," he said, wiping his hands on a napkin. "What the f.uck is wrong?"

I looked up at him, he had a harsh look on his face. His brows were scrunched together, and his green eyes stared at me. I set my fork down on my plate gently, folded my hands, and set them in my lap.

"What is going on, Em?" he asked. "You've been acting like this for a month. I've been pretending everything is fine, but—"

"Nothing is fine!" I said, cutting him off. I ran my hands over my face. "Nothing is fine because I killed a man."

"You're still upset about that?" he asked, genuinely shocked. "I thought this was about something else?"

"Yes Harry, I'm still upset about the fact I took someone's life."

"But I said—"

"I heard you when you said it," I interrupted coldly. "But the fact is that you are trained with a military background, I'm not. They taught you to not care about death when it is at your hands. I was taught to never kill a man, and I did."