The Queen (Harry Styles)

Chapter 34

Don't be silent! Comment on your favorite lines! Tell me what you're feeling!

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It was the middle of the night when I woke up in our new bed. Harry had his arm thrown across my body, and his head nuzzled into my arm. I shifted uncomfortably against him. I begrudgingly kicked the blankets off of my feet as I looked over to Harry who was unknowingly still asleep. I sighed heavily as I turned onto my side, pressing my lips to his neck.

"Em? What the f.uck are you doing?" he mumbled against the pillow. I giggled and climbed on his back and straddled him, leaning down and kissing his soft, warm skin.

"Emerald?" he asked, turning to me. "Did you seriously wake me up to have sex with me?" he asked, a smirk playing on his lips. "I feel used, you know."

"No you don't," I giggled. "It's literally all I can think about," I whispered. Harry asked me to get off of him for a few seconds so he could turn over on the bed. I climbed back on him as soon as he sat up and was on his bum.

"I know," he agreed, "It's all I can think about now, too."

"I'm glad I'm not the only one," I breathed, wrapping my arms around his neck. "I don't know what it's going to be like."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"I don't know what to expect from everything that will happen between us these coming months," I said. "Me changing into a motherly persona and still adjusting to being queen."

"Em," Harry said, resting his hand under my chin. "We can still change our minds, we can wait on having a baby. We haven't done anything yet," he said.

"I don't want to change my mind because then I will keep changing it. I just want to dive in, and go for it."

"I think you mean we," Harry retorted, a playful smile playing on his lips. He reached up and tucked a few loose curls behind my ear. "But I know what you mean, Em. It's kind of one of those things that you're literally taking away the fence and allowing yourself to fall. Only, we're taking away what caused us to just be us for these past several months."

"Exactly," I said. "It's probably the scariest roller coaster I've ever been on and we haven't even been on it yet," I laughed. Harry smiled at me, his eyes crinkling as he smiled at me, his moonlit green eyes stared back at my blue ones.

"I feel as if we should be doing something, but I am honestly at a loss for words right now," he said.

I knew exactly what he meant. He was insinuating that we begin trying now and my body clearly was ready for the task at hand, but our minds were frozen. It's as if this whole idea of diving in and trying to create a life is the most dangerous thing we could ever do. I think it's just the fact that we know what we're aiming for, and that's the scariest thing. When we undoubtedly do succeed with our efforts, it won't just be us anymore. There will be three of us. Three. It's hard to even begin to fathom a life with a small child who will solely depend on me for its every whim. And that's what frightened me the most.

"I still don't even know if I can get pregnant," I whispered. "I feel like we're going to try and we're going to fail and get hurt."

"What's the point of not trying if we don't know the outcomes," he said. "We can at least try, and if nothing happens, we can talk to the doctors here. Every few weeks, just start taking some tests with them. Your first one can be your birthday appointment."

"I suppose," I said.

"Maybe we should try to make a baby now instead of talking about hypothetically trying otherwise we will be taking care of a hypothetical baby for the rest of our lives," he laughed. "I do uh... you mind?" he asked, his eyes flickering down to where I sat.