I Like Me Better When I'm With You | Ackley Bridge

46|'Not Again'

"Mom? Is Missy here?" I ask, rushing home after I heard about Haylee and Missy's argument in the dress rehearsal.

"Upstairs." She replies, turning to me with an excited grin and a new mop in her hand. "What'd you think, Love? Got a hundred more on order. State of the art this is. Got a retractable head and everything."

"You're unbelievable." I roll my eyes and drop my bag on the floor.

"What have I done now?" Mom asks, still toying with her mop.

"You're worried about some poxy mop when... the girls have started flamin' World War Three cos... you know Haylee's back with Riz, don't ya?"

"Thought she might." Mom replies, unfazed by my words.

"What? Is that all you've got to say?" I ask in disbelief.

"She's young." She shrugs. "She's gotta learn from her mistakes."

"That's typical of you, int it." I shake my head. "Why don't you just try being a mom for once in ya life?"

She walks over to me, "Cos you never let me. Missy's suffocating her, but she don't see no wrong in it cos that's what you did to her."

"They need looking after. Missy just don't know how." I tell her.

"And who's looking after you, eh?" Mom questions, raising an eyebrow at me.

"I can take care of meself." I shrug, unfazed by the question I've heard many times.

"You know your problem?"

I scoff, "Please, give us your expert opinion."

"You've spent so long worrying about me and the girls, you never gave yourself a chance, did ya?" She says in realization almost.

"This ain't about me."

"Well, it should be." She tells me. "Cos if anyone deserves to be happy, it's my Izzy."

"I am happy." I lie, my voice cracking with tears pricking my eyes.

"So why did you dump that, Cory?" She asks.

"He were the one to send Riz's text round school.... and he said he loved me, didn't he?" I shake my head, hurriedly wiping a stray tear.

"And you got scared." She concludes.

"Why would I be scared? We both know what he's after." I shrug, not wanting talk anymore.

"He said it cos he meant it, Izzy." She says confidently. "Take it from someone who knows. No bloke I've ever been with looked at me the way he does you.

"You're just saying that." I roll my eyes.

"I've seen 'em all over the years." She shakes her head. "The liars, the thieves -"

"The father of my son." I add, with venom in my tone, my gaze hardening as I remember what she did.

"You've gotta remember this..." She starts, "there are some good ones out there, Izzy. Not every bloke is gonna hurt you like Larry -"

"Please... don't say his name." I shake my head, feeling sick to my stomach as memories came flooding back to me. "Why? Why didn't you believe me? Why didn't you choose me?"

"I'm sorry, love -"

I cut her off, tears dripping on my cheeks, "It's too late. I needed ya. I needed my mom." She tries to grab my arm, but I push her off, taking multiple steps back. "No, no! You chose him! You chose him over me! Over all of us!"

"I know, I know, but I thought... I thought I was in love." She tries to excuse her actions.

"How could you love someone that hurt me so much?" I squint at her, giving an incredulous look.

"Don't punish yourself cos of my mistakes." She says firmly, "I hate to think you're missing out cos of me."

"It is because of you." I nod, my breath getting caught in my throat as I begin to pace in front of her. "It is. You brought him here, you were too drunk to stop him from ra- hurting me, an-and.... you killed my son. My baby, m-my baby boy... It were you!"

She grips my face, trying to get me to stop, and eventually, I lose all the fight I have in me, and I stop resisting her. "I'm so sorry, darling. I'll never hurt you like that again, I'll protect ya, yeah? I promise."

"I... I don't believe ya." I admit, with a pain expression. "And I can't trust ya. Not again."

"Please. Just give me a chance to get it right this time."

♡♥︎♡

"Missy?" I knock gently on her door, walking in when she says I can. As I walk inside our room, I see her curled up in bed with one earphone in, waiting for me to speak. "I need to talk to ya."

"Go on then." She says, making room for me to sit on her bed.

"You know that, Aaron..." I start, and she rolls her eyes when she hears me call him 'that Aaron', but nods nonetheless. "He said he loved ya, didn't he?"

"Yeah, but I know it were a load of crap, don't worry." She tells me, wrapping her earphone wire around her phone.

"I don't think it was." I tell her with a sympathetic smile.

Her head whips up to look at me as soon as those words fall from my mouth. "What?"

"I think he were telling the truth." I admit, honestly.

She hakes her head, "He can't- he's just using me to get what he wants."

"Why do you think that?" I ask, but she doesn't have the words to answer. "See, I think you don't want to believe it could be true cos you're scared to open up. Just like me."

"We were given a crap example of what love is, and because of that, we've grown to fear it." I tell her. "We don't know what it's really like, and we don't wanna risk finding out."

She looks down, so I grip her hand in mine. "But we should. Well, you should at least, cos you've got a good one. And like Nana always said, 'When you find summet good, hold on to it'. So don't let him go, yeah?"

"Okay." She nods, and I kiss her forehead, bringing her into a warm hug. "Thanks, Belly."

We pull away with small smiles on our faces, but she doesn't move from her spot. "What you doing?"

"What d'you mean?" She asks, confused.

"Well, why you still sitting here?" I question her. "Go get Aaron and make things right, you muppet!"

"Oh, okay." She nods, tripping over her own feet as she rushes out to find her boyfriend.