his | minsung

27

his sneakers were sinking into the wet sand as he got closer to the water. beach wasn't like the one he visited the first time but it was enough. water was calm, the smell of the sea was already drawing him. he put down his bag, took off his jacket and sneakers. even though the water was ice cold, jisung was numb to it. he entered with a smile on his face, going deep, water reaching his neck, covering his ears.

that was the end jisung wanted, but not destined, someone grabbed him by an arm very hard and pulled him towards, colliding with someone's body, he felt, the grip was strong, he was trying to hold younger close to himself, and jisung that had already swallowed enough water, unaware of what he was doing, was hitting the person, luckly the person had a strong hand. he made it, pulling jisung towards the beach, where he immediately lay him down.

just like he was dead, the blurred person was in front of him, his consciousness were fading, he heard a man's voice, repeating.

" your fine!...your fine!"

he wasn't, he cried, spitting water that filled his lungs, he didn't see, everything was blurry, but he heard man voice.

"you're fine! you hear me!" no it wasn't right, no, why did he make everything worse. the guy took a step back from the crying jisung. at first the guy thought that jisung had accidentally found himself in that situation but no, he was crying non-stop, and looking at him more carefully, his poor body, face, hands, it was clear to him. he knelt beside jisung, trying to do something.

"calm down...it's okay...sorry...I couldn't let you do that,,,I couldn't …" he wiped jisung's crying face, until he left quietly trembling in coldness. he held his neck, putting his knees as a pillow. jisung continued to sob loudly while trying to say something, but it was difficult to understand. the person who saved him stood by jisung's side for however long he needed, holding his hand and covering him with his jacket.

a fisherman who often fishes nearby named taesung, luckily saw and saved jisung that afternoon. jisung was helpless, the only thing left for him was death, life was too luxurious for him, breathing the air was too selfish of him. taesung invited him for hot soup, and a place to stay. jisung didn't speak, just quivering with a wet lip staring blankly. taesung tried to talk to him, feed him, and when he got to him, he didn't even know his name.

" whatever that happened...and you went through, I believe sea wasn't the solution..." jisung rubbed already falling tears.

"....look....we are completely strangers, we have free time, however much time you need....I can sit here and listen to you......why did you try to…drown yourself?...."

his eyes slowly looked at older, there was nothing. taesung could see a body of kid, with no soul in it.

" i....have no mom....."  that was the first thing that left his mouth, and older heard his dry voice.

"...your mom?....what happened to your mom?..." he tried pulling any informations out the younger.

jisung was in silence.

" my mom left me.......b-because....i disappointed her " he mumbled word by word.

" you made your mom mad? what a coincidence, I made my mom mad too! hahah....how bad boys could we be?"

taesung’s light up face, made jisung see smile too, but his brain couldn't even process what he was smiling for, like he just mimicked older’s face.

" I.....I...sold my body...for a money " jisung was feeling disgusted on his tongue for saying it out loud, it was embarrassing. older’s face frowned, kid in front of him was certainly not even eighteen years old, he could not specify because he looked pretty young. and what he just said surprised him, his mind could not come up with such a thing.