MLA's Daughter-in-law

January (1-5)

1 January 1999

Again it is that time of year when I commence a new diary. So hello! Welcome to my world. I should begin with my introduction. My name is Vijayalakshmi but my loved ones prefer Vijaya. I was born in Devawas, a small village in the North Eastern part of Rajasthan. My personality is an amalgamation of two extreme traits; I'm cheerful and shy at the same time. It's been eight years since I started writing journals. I was inspired by "The Diary of a young girl" by Anne Frank. Although, I never finished reading it; every time I read it I find myself wrapped around an unknown emotion. Honestly, I'm a bit emotional so every time I turn the pages, I cry my eyes out.

Nevertheless, I should talk about my family. I share a special bond with my grandma. She is conventional, old fashioned, and all bones but nothing can change the fact that she adores me most... even more than my mother.

My grandpa passed away when my father was four. They together had three sons and two daughters; among them, my father is the youngest. She is lionhearted as she alone raised her children without any family support. I heard her saying that my great-grandmother wanted her to marry her younger son who was probably six years younger than my grandma but she refused, owing to this my great-grandmother was infuriated and separated her from the family along with her children. My grandma was given merely 5 acres of land but she converted that land to 25 acres after years of labor. Indeed she is a true inspiration.

One of my uncles passed away when she was working in the fields. He was playing near the well and accidentally fell into it. My grandmother still cries whenever she recalls that incident.

Both of my aunts are married and each of them has three kids. My Baba Ji (father's elder brother) separated from us two years ago, touchwood still we are on talking terms.

I believe I had said enough for the first day. Happy new year; let's hope that this year will bring a lot of fortune to everyone.

Yours Vijaya

2 January 1999

Sometimes I wonder how it feels to receive a compliment. Twenty-two years of my life have passed and my family never acknowledged me. Am I really that worthless?

I never wanted to depend on someone. It is super awkward for me to ask for money even from my father. I always hated to answer why I needed money. It's not like I'm doing something illegal. I just wanted to earn a living for myself. Not too much to ask, right?

Not every mind is progressive in this conventional society. One man can bring revolution in an orthodox family because it's patriarchal. It would be nice if I was a man. Maybe life is holding something else for me.

I am in a tight corner and the fact that annoyed me the most is I have no rights even in my life.

Yours Vijaya

3 January 1999

Today for the third time MLA Deendayal Ji visited our house. My parents want me to marry his son. Although, MLA ji appears like a sea, calm and graceful still I'm scared to marry his son. In the evening, I was serving food to my father and my mother was talking on landline with someone.

"MLA Deendayal has liked our Vijaya for his son," my mother exclaimed after she cut the phone.

The whole house was beaming in joy but I was standing there silently. "I'm not ready for marriage yet," I tried to say but my tongue tied seeing my parents on cloud nine. Their contentment was not the result of the knot, the desire was power.

I had never seen them this satisfied before, worrying that I might ruin their happiness, so I decided to come back to my room.

"She blushed," I heard my grandma. Little did they know that a storm was growing in my mind. Should I tell them that I want to study? I thought but instantly changed my decision and bowed to my fate, enlightened that no one is willing to hear me.