MLA's Daughter-in-law

August (4-7)

4 August 1999

A lady who is ×(my mother-in-law)× Shrawan's mother's friend invited us because they organized the Sundar Kaand path at her home.

We were late, and there I met my Sanskrit teacher, Mrs. Rekha. I was her favorite student, throughout my school days.

I touched her feet and she hugged me, I became emotional at that moment. First, it's a huge deal that my favorite teacher remembers me. Second, she was known for her strict nature, and never in this life had I expected her to hug me.

I introduced her to Shrawan's mother and as usual, she wasn't paying much attention and soon excused herself.

Rekha Ma'am is the first person who said to me, "You look sad, and if you want to share something, I am all ears."

Only I know how I control myself at that moment. The one thing that my family should be inquiring from me, she is the one who asked it.

My heart breaks into hundreds of pieces while saying that you are mistaken, I am fine.

She patted my head with affection and said "Why do you think, Ram became Lord Ram? It's because he left no room for anyone to raise a finger at his character, he did everything that he could to prevent that war. Follow his footsteps and when you think you can't take it anymore, the other person has crossed the limit and you are left with no other option but to fight. Then put your soul in it."

A woman of my age came and apologized for her grandmother's baseless talk.

She told me that for the past six years, she has been struggling with Alzheimer's.

What if she can't remember me, what if she has no memory of her loved one? All of her students will always cherish the beautiful memories that we have made together.

You might say that I am talking stupid, but I feel that it was God who came to give me instructions, as for the past few months I have been living in a state of constant tormentation.  

The feeling of not being able to do anything, the site of constant wrong has messed up my head so bad that I felt my soul was degrading day by day.

Now with all my heart, I will follow the path that she had lightened for me amongst this chaos.

Yours
Vijaya

5 August 1999

As the elections are around the corner, every day the news of distributing liquor and money is published. 

Today while having breakfast,  I condemn this behavior, and Shrawan and his mother choked on food. Shrawan tried to change the topic but this time I didn't give up.

"Maybe in the beginning these sorts of tricks are important but after years of winning if one follows this path then certainly these sorts of men don't deserve to win. Right Mummyji," I asked hoping that she would say something contradictory but to my surprise, she nodded and peacefully munched her food.

What else I was expecting, she is his wife and is ace at hiding her expression (not always though).

Shrawan wanted to have a conversation with me, but a phone call interrupted us.

What if this conversation destroys the peace that is in between us? Girl don't back up this time, you have decided your path so don't you dare to take your step backward.

It would be difficult but certainly would be worth it.

Yours Vijaya

6 August 1999

How could I expect her to stay quiet, yesterday she called my mother and bickered about me. As anticipated, my mother called me and gave me half an hour lecture, as usual, my grandmother also supported her.

Why do I always feel so disappointed? Don't I know my family? They only expect me to behave in a certain way. As far as I remember, the lesson that I most received from my mother was to stay humble in my in-law's house.

No one in that family was even interested in listening to my side of the story. I feel terrible, maybe twenty times deeper than that. 

Every time I find myself in this type of situation where I don't understand how to react. However, I am aware of the consequences of all actions that I decide to choose. Either way, one is going to hurt, it could be my family or it could be me.

I am not wrong, so I will not back out this time.

God knows how many times I said this. Let's see how far we both go.

Yours Vijaya

7 August 1999

Thank God no one is talking about yesterday's things. I was scared that Shrawan's mother would taunt me with some humiliating words, but she was calm.

I talked with my parents and except my mother, no one even talked about it. "Vijaya stay low," she again suggested before disconnecting the call.

Shrawan is not at home, he rarely stays here. I think it's good because the situation was hot and it could have led to an argument. Overall, it was better than I expected.

One thing that still makes me uncomfortable is how my husband is the reason behind the fall of Gaytri Devi. Certainly, things are not favorable for her.

Would it make any difference if she was elected instead of MLA Deendayal Ji?

All the politicians are the same, she chose her family in the same way Shrawan has chosen. In one way or another, everyone is similar here.

Oh lord! Why I am stuck in this odd place? Why did my family marry me to this family? Everyone and everything is so weird here? Things that are normal in the outside world are strange here and vice versa.

What will happen if for some reason they all decide to remove me from their path? I have heard these things are common in politics.

Nah! I am overthinking. I don't think that my husband will ever do such a thing to me. It doesn't matter how bad a politician he is, but he is the nicest husband.

Yours Vijaya