MLA's Daughter-in-law

August(18-20)

18 August 1999

After coming back home, Shrawan's mother asked me why I invited Arshi here. Before I could answer she shouted at me, pushing me on the verge of tears, "I thought you hated her too. Did you say all that to come on good looks? You are sick Vijayalakshmi."

Before I could have cried my eyes out, Shrawan rescued me and hushed her mother. We were in our room when he wiped my tears, asking for forgiveness. While hugging him, the only question that was revolving in my mind was who told her about that.

I think he sensed what I wanted to ask, he tightened his grip and said that his tongue slipped.

Why I was getting scolded, I took the permission first. At times, I feel that Shrawan is planning this and in the end, implements things in such a way that he is the victim. Deep inside, I am aware that he is more than capable of doing such things.

He planned our honeymoon and made it appear as if his mother surprised us, it was all his doing to be with me. He didn't want me to meet her, and now when they are back, he is making sure that I never meet her again.

Something seems fishy, he is certainly hiding anything and it's my stubbornness to know what she knows.

He tried to be romantic, but I was feeling low. His words were like, "I know you are hurt, take your time" but his face was telling a whole together different story.

We had lunch together and he brought it to our room, not wanting me to encounter his mother.

"Shrawan we can't do this, "I explained that this behavior would widen the gap between me and his mother. I told him that she would think I was encouraging him to ignore him.

It was difficult though but in the end, I convinced him and took him out for lunch. As expected his mother didn't speak a word. There was silence, but overall I was relaxed that things didn't turn out much bad.

It's almost 11 he is outside and hasn't come back yet. I have called him numerous times and even his phone is switched off. I went outside to ask his mother but she seemed unbothered. "You are his wife, so you should be the one who needs to be aware of your husband and his needs." She tightened her lips after she said needs.

I didn't want to revert and make things more complicated. That's why I just wished her a good night and came back to our room.

What does she mean by his needs? Is he cheating on me? How does his mother know about what has happened between us, this afternoon?

I am in a pool of emotions and my mind is telling me he is somewhere, he shouldn't be. If my worst nightmare turns out true then what am I going to do?

Where are you, Shrawan? I am worried sick after talking to your mother. Please come back soon.

No Vijaya you are not going to overthink this time, when he is back ask him directly. There is no point in hurting yourself.

Yours Vijaya

19 August 1999

So, many things have happened in these four walls, on the first night I was forced, and a next to impossible thing happened that I fell for him. Each time, I try to turn pages of his life, I find a different version of him.

He didn't pick up my phone call and today when he came back, he smelled like a cheap woman's fragrance. It was so identical, yet I am not getting where he could have been.

Pangs of sadness surrounded me. I looked at him with glossy eyes and instead of explaining anything he rushed bathroom. Till now, he hasn't explained a single thing and has locked himself in the library.

I am not going to forgive him if he dared to do any such thing which I have imagined as worst case scenario. My head is hurting so bad and here he is, chilling after all the mess he had created.

20 August 1999

"Gaityri Devi was planning something against my father." That's what he said.

"So just tell me what exactly happened, you were with women?" I asked bluntly.

"I was in a brothel," he said breaking my heart. My legs gave up hearing him and I slipped down to the edge of bed.

"Calm down, nothing like that happened which you are imagining in your mind," he explained. "She is smuggling women to Arab nations, and I went there along with ED to rescue those women?"

"How did they let you come with them, you are not even MLA?" I questioned, although my intention was not to hurt him. I know I hurt him with the choice of words.

"I was the one who took them there. I have my ways, you don't need to know about them," he added watching my expression.

"Why?"

"Because I don't want to hurt you, what I do is dangerous and your life could be at stake if anyone gets the hint that you might know even a little about it. I think you deserve to know why I am not comfortable taking you out because you are more precious to me than any other person in this world."

I nodded because I had no evidence against him, I was well aware that I was digging my own grave, but still, he was not in my good looks anymore. I want to be wrong but sometimes Shrawan you seem as shabby as your father.

I needed to find someone who could tell me reality, who could trust me, and give me evidence against all of you. I am repeating this every day on my mind but I have nothing in my hands. I am dying every day. I know everyone is hiding their sins and even God is not on my side.

Please show me any path.

Yours Vijaya