Forty-Five

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Three years ago

The sharp crack of my fist against the wooden dummy echoed through the quiet dojo. Kaito, my sensei, stood to the side with a stern expression, resetting the scene for my umpteenth round of sparring practice. Each session brought new disappointment and frustration as I struggled to match his skill and technique.

"You flinch, that's your first mistake," Kaito scolded, his voice ringing out in the heavy air. I hung my head in defeat, knowing I should be used to disappointing him by now. Two months of intense training had not brought me any closer to being prepared for my upcoming fight in the ring.

"With all due respect, Kaito," I spoke up, trying to defend myself, "how can I possibly prepare for a real fight if all I do is spar with these wooden dummies?" My bravado was just a bluff.

Kaito chuckled softly, his amusement a rare sound in the otherwise silent dojo. "Do not underestimate the power of the wooden dummy," he said as he tossed a towel my way. Catching it mid-air, I began to pat down my glistening forehead while he continued speaking. "But perhaps you are ready for a more practical opponent."

I raised an eyebrow skeptically at his suggestion. "You mean...a real person?"

Kaito nodded, tossing another pair of gloves into my lap. "Yes. You and me. We spar."

My heart raced at the thought of facing off against my highly skilled sensei. But deep down, I knew it was what I needed if I wanted any chance at winning in the ring.

Without hesitation, I slipped on the gloves and stood before Kaito, my fists raised high and tucked close to my chin as he had taught me. He circled around me slowly, his eyes scrutinizing every move and stance.

"Remember," he spoke calmly but firmly, "the most important thing in a fight is not physical strength, but mental strength." He paused for emphasis, his eyes drilling into mine through the reflection in the mirror. "What does that mean?"

I took a deep breath and focused on his words. "It means I need to outthink my opponent. Anticipate their moves and stay one step ahead."

Kaito's lips twitched slightly, a hint of satisfaction in his expression. "Good," he said with a nod. "Now show me."

With determination fueling my every move, I lunged forward with a jab aimed at Kaito's chest. But he was too quick, easily blocking my punch with fluid yet powerful movements. His counterattack came in a blur - a swift kick towards my gut that I barely managed to block in time.

As we continued to spar, it became clear just how much faster and stronger Kaito was compared to any wooden dummy. Each hit held more force and each defense was nearly impenetrable. But I had asked for this extra challenge, knowing it would only make me better prepared. With nothing but time on my hands, I had one goal - to be fully prepared to enact my revenge on Diego for what he did to my family.

With a sharp command, he urged me to begin again after I stumbled back from his previous attack. My body was tense and ready as I launched myself at him once more, throwing a flurry of punches and kicks in his direction. His movements were fluid and effortless, a testament to his years of experience. Despite the sting of each missed blow, I persisted with stubborn determination.

"Focus!" he growled, frustration evident in his voice. "Not just on your opponent, but on yourself as well!"

But I couldn't hear him, my mind consumed by the memories of the attack. My mother's screams, my father's blood... they echoed loudly in my head, fueling my fists with a fiery rage. Kaito tried to offer words of guidance, but they were drowned out by the roars inside my mind.

"Nila!" His voice cut through the chaos in my head, bringing me back to the present moment in the silent dojo. I panted heavily, my fists still raised defensively as I struggled to compose myself.

Kaito stood before me with a stern expression, his dark eyes drilling into mine. He pointed firmly at the floor. "Here," he said firmly. "You are fighting here."

"But-"

"No," Kaito interrupted sharply. "Your mind is elsewhere. You are not present; you are trapped in your own thoughts." He gestured towards my forehead. "In your mind."

I sighed deeply and lowered my fists, feeling frustrated and defeated. Kaito was right – instead of focusing on my physical opponent, I was fighting ghosts from my past. Each punch I threw was aimed at Diego and his men, not at the man standing before me.

"I don't know how to," I confessed in a low voice, barely audible in the stillness of the room. "All I can hear are their screams... See the blood and fire... It's haunting me, Kaito."

Kaito crossed his arms. "That is what we call the darkness," he said calmly. "Every warrior has their own demons to face. Some confront them, others try to ignore them, but none can truly escape them. This is your battle, Nila."

A heavy silence hung between us as I absorbed his words. My fight wasn't just against Diego and his thugs; it was a battle within myself – with my guilt, fear, and anger.

"Confront it," Kaito finally broke the silence. "Embrace it. Understand that this darkness is not you, but a part of you."

"Clean yourself up and meet me outside," he instructed calmly. "We will cleanse your mind before we begin again." I stood up stiffly, nodding in agreement before removing my gloves and tossing them aside. My palms were raw and bruised from hitting the inside of the gloves, my knuckles throbbing in pain. Every inch of my body ached as I acknowledged the weight of Kaito's words.

Kaito watched me with an unreadable expression as I left the dojo without another word. The cool evening air greeted me as soon as I stepped outside, carrying with it the sweet fragrance of cherry blossoms swirling in the twilight. For a moment, I paused to take deep breaths, using this brief respite to escape from reality.

A part of me... I looked at my hands, clenching and unclenching them as I wondered how much darkness they could endure before breaking completely.

.

.

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Remmy

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