𝐂𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐬 𝐌𝐲 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭&𝐇𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐓𝐨 𝐃𝐢𝐞『 𝐑𝐞𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 』

『Ch. 16』

Second Person Pov

You sat there with Toby for around fifteen minutes before you made any actual headway.

Toby kept repeating vague statements and things you already knew. You wanted to be helpful, but he was making it really difficult... So, instead of being calm like you had been the rest of the time, you decided to be as straightforward as possible.

"Why did you kiss me?" You stared at him with a genuine look, and he looked surprised by your question. Though, he simply brushed it off and shrugged his shoulders.

"We were under a mistletoe, it was only right to—"

"We both know that's not what I meant, Toby." You cut him off with a stern tone. You were done with his bullshit games, and you wanted him to know that.

He was, understandably, caught off guard by your sudden change in demeanor. Toby didn't know what to say. Unbeknownst to you, he had been asking himself that same question for a while.

"I,,, I d-don't know." He kept trying to avoid the inevitable, but you both knew it wouldn't stay like this for long. Toby took a deep breath as he sat under your gaze and started up again. "I've never had any actual emotional c-connections with anyone— well, non-familiar, I m-mean." He shifted uncomfortably and clenched his fists.

He waited for you to respond, any kind of response; but, you just kept staring. He knew you wanted him to keep going, and you knew he didn't want to. But you were never going to get anything out of him if you didn't do this. So, he hesitantly took another breath and thought of what to say.

"You've b-been nothing but k-kind to me, a-and i have no reason to think y-you'd have any ulterior motives. I just,,, sometimes I s-see how you look at me—"

"How I look at you?" You cocked your head to the side and furrowed your eyebrows. You should've known what he meant, but you were burying the idea that he actually knew.

"(Y/n), please don't p-play dumb with me. You l-look at me like I'm eye c-candy." In seconds, you were blushing, and you could definitely feel it in your face. "And as much a-as I appreciate it,,, I don't w-want to just sleep with s-someone who doesn't actually love me—"

"You think I don't love you?" You didn't mean to yell but your tone was definitely louder than normal. His words caught you off guard, and you didn't even fully take in what you just admitted. It was only when his eyes went wide and he became speechless that you really understood.

To be frank, you felt like an idiot. You had just blurted out your feelings to a guy who most likely was completely uninterested in you. You looked anywhere but at him; all the thoughts that had been previously fighting for room in your brain were now gone. You couldn't think of anything to say. Normally, you were smooth, confident, bold, and charismatic; but, with this guy,,, you were practically puddy in his hands.

"(Y/n)?" You tensed up when he spoke and didn't dare to look up at him. "Do you like me?" He voice was quiet, like he was trying to ask someone a secret. As if he didn't really want to hear the answer.

"Only if you like me back..." There was a pause in the air before you continued. "And, if that were the case, a better word would be love. You're funny, sweet, talented, and don't forget really beautiful. And,,, theoretically,,, at first it may have been just a silly crush or infatuation; but, after awhile, my feelings changed. Seeing you smile would just lighten my mood in an instant. Anything you said would be wonderful; even if you were complaining about something silly. I wouldn't mind sitting there with a smile on my face."

You sat there gushing about him, and you could feel a smile slowly spread across your face. The tears that had been teasing you all this time finally began falling. You had hit a breaking point, and you were letting it all out. You've hidden your feelings for too long, and the idea of keeping it in any longer would kill you.

"So, if you liked me,,, I would love you back. You're too amazing to not love. And, you say sorry all the time and act like you don't deserve any of the things I give you; but, I feel like you deserve that and more. And I might not be able to give you as much as you need, but I'll give you my all." You glanced up at him and he had a completely blank expression. It somehow didn't bother you anymore. "Uh,,, theoretically, of course." You smiled and let out a breath you didn't know you were holding in.

You sat in silence, waiting for a response. You wished he loved you back, you wished you could wake up to him each morning and kiss him on the forehead. Then, you could start your morning together. Make breakfasts and watch dumb movies, do normally boring chores with each other to make it fun, or go out and eat dinner... But, you were prepared not to have that. Even though you weren't okay, and you wanted him to love you... You were fully prepared for—

"I love you." You snapped your head up and looked at Toby. His once blank expression was now a goofy smile with tears running down his face. No matter how many times he rubbed them away, more just fell from his eyes.

"What?" Even though he said it, he told you how he felt, you didn't feel like it was real. You had prepared yourself for the worst but got the best.

"I was s-so scared to open up; I thought no one would e-ever like me. But y-you, always gave me a chance. You made sure I w-was happy. Even when I was being a total d-dick, you were still kind." His smile widened and he looked over at you. "And I love y-you so much." You sat under his gaze and, for once, you had no idea what to say.

You just stared at him, he had never been so open with you; and it caught you off guard. He stared at you awaiting a response one never came, but there wasn't exactly silence... You couldn't help but explode into a fit of laughter. He stared at you dumbfounded, thinking he had said something stupid. But you quickly lunged forward and wrapped your arms around him; you were holding him so tight he practically couldn't breathe. That laugh soon turned into tears of joy as you held him.

"(Y/n)?" Toby wrapped his arms around you, not sure how to respond to what was happening. You quickly pulled far enough away to look at him; tears ran down your cheeks and a thick blush was visible even in the dark.

"I love you so much." You pulled him into another kiss, to which he quickly reciprocated.

You both layed awake on the bed for hours, whispering I love you's and other compliments. It was mostly you, and Toby was just trying to fluster you as equally as you were him. But eventually, the quiet set in and the both of you settled in to each other's arms. He fell asleep plenty before you did, but you were okay with that. You just wanted to take in every possible moment you could. It felt like heaven, and to tell the truth, it was probably the closest you ever get to there.

You couldn't help but cry some more. You had been crying for weeks, out of pain and misery; but, now,,, you were contempt with every. You settled into the moment and relaxed. You had never been this happy. You knew your story started with him, and you wished it would end with him.

Oh, how you wish...