MISSTEPS OF LOVE / Jikook Kookmin Mingguk

64- A Promise of Forever

Jimin was peacefully sitting crosslegged on the ground in-front of his parent's graves with only the sound of swaying leaves and chirping birds to keep him company.

He had been there for quite some time talking to the silent void and believing that his parents are there listening to him, tears freely falling.

"How I miss you both so much. I'm so sorry if I am making you worry right now by seeing me like this. I don't want you to see me this way because I know you'll be sad and worried but this is just one of those moments eomma, abeoji. Please don't worry about me. I know you are both at peace and happy with each other. I know it may seem like I am pitiful but your son here is strong like how you taught me. So don't worry. It's just that these moments happen, you know. You've warned me to expect some things to not happen the way I want them to, some people will let me down, some people will hurt me, I will make mistakes along the way but you always tell me when life is at its lowest, it doesn't mean that there won't be better days, that I wouldn't be able to get back up on my feet and be happy again. I always remember your words. Eomma, you said I'm like the moon, that I would always go through different phases of light and dark, that I would not always appear with the same brightness but I would always be complete and whole....I know I am mother...

But this is just one of those days that things are not really okay, a-and your son is hurting pretty badly. That's why I look terrible, right now, and maybe I am feeling not as strong as I should be, less happy than I was, so I am missing you more. I wish you are here with me."

Jimin wipes his tears with the back of his hand and clenched his fist and slammed his thigh. "It's because of that asshole, you know! Oops! I'm sorry eomma, abeoji, I don't mean to swear."

He exhaled heavily. "It's just that, your son here became a little stupid for a man. I knew love hurts but didn't know it would hurt this much. I even didn't expect he would break my heart. I trusted him. I loved him ma,pa. I love him....
You know him, eomma, it's Jungkook. Jeon Jungkook. You may know him and know his father...Hmm Maybe you should give him a visit eomma, bring aboeji with you!"

Jimin paused for a while, immediately realized his mistake as a concerned expression crossed his face.

"No, no. I am just kidding ma. He is a scaredy bunny when it comes to ghost. I remember when we were watching horror movies how he clings to me in fright. No. Don't scare him please. I don't want him to get hurt."

And Jimin wipes his tears again because they don't stop even when he was just talking lightly.

His heart is a mess. He tries to hate Jungkook for hurting him but he can not just instantly let go of his love and concern for him. Despite the awful things Jungkook did, he finds it hard to hate him or think of hurting him.

Jimin wishes that every bad thing that happened was just a joke, or a dream, or a misunderstanding, that Jungkook will come for him but he can't stop believing differently.

After a few more minutes at his beloved parents' graves, Jimin decided to head back for his grandparents told him to return by lunchtime.

At the orchard, he saw Jungkook walking towards him and he was immediately bombarded with different emotions that he froze in his place.

The first one was definitely gladness, an overflowing joy even if it lasted only for a moment, to physically see the love of his life there. He misses him so badly. The delight of knowing that Jungkook came for him!

After that, hope for all his wishes coming true but subsequently, the realization of the present fact, that Jungkook betrayed and fooled him, that Jungkook doesn't love him in reality. The feeling of betrayal, anger, doubt, wariness to not succumb to Jungkook, to guard his heart, came next synonymously, all together made Jimin push Jungkook away when the taller came nearer and flee like a bat out of hell!