Take My Breath | Catnipz

nine

"Please don't ignore me." Mara Jace Kim stands behind me with a bouquet of white and pink tulips in her hands. Tulips happen to be my favourite flower and of course Mara Jace knows it all. I don't expect anything less from her.

"I can't stand this anymore." She added quickly.

Truthfully, neither can I. But I don't admit that. I haven't spoken a word to her all day; though it's ironic given the fact that I've been living in her varsity jacket like nothing had even happened.

I know better than to cause a scene; though I hardly doubt the possibility of that given the nature of where we were standing: in the middle of the sporting field; with prying eyes and all.

"I'm not ignoring you." I answered.

I hear her laugh. A hint of sarcasm? She could smell a lie from a mile away and I'm no exception to that God forsaken talent . "If you aren't ignoring me then why can't you look at me?"

I turn around without thinking and boy do I regret it. "Happy now?" I feel the air leave my lungs and I can't help but gasp for air. Fuck.

I'm fucked. I'm utterly and terribly fucked. If I have ever sinned then this must be the Lord's way of making me seek repentance. The inside of my throat has run dry and I feel like a fish out of water. Has Mara Jace Kim always been this beautiful? How have I never noticed this? I feel a whirl of never ending questions float around aimlessly around my head as I take it all in.

I realise how terribly easy it is for her to take my breath away. That alone is a terrifying thought. A concept that has become so terribly frequent.

How could I ever find a perfect moment to catch my breath if Mara Jace Kim looks like she was carved by the angels; so soft and intricate.

She holds her hands behind her back and takes several steps forward. "I've missed you, love."

There it is again—those words of endearment that I've been hearing for years. Everything has changed now that I feel this way for her. I used to have no reaction to them at all. Now my heart shakes at even a mere sign of platonic affection.

The lacrosse team stand around us looking giddy and expectant. All eyes are on us. I feel a wave of nervousness wash over me as Mara starts to inch closer to me. "Mason. I really missed you."

I scratch the top of my head. "I heard you the first time." I answered. "I'm not deaf you know."

Mara takes the last step towards me and nods. "I know that. But you didn't answer me..." She holds out her hand and smiles softly. "I know that you haven't been feeling okay. I don't know what happened and I figured you weren't ready to tell me so no pressure. But I need you to know that I'm here for you. I'm not going anywhere..." She takes my hand in hers and I begin to melt away.

"I know that." I swallow the last shred of self respect I have left in me. "What are those?..." I point to the bouquet she holds in her other hand.

Mara holds them out in front of me. "Flowers! Pink and white tulips to be precise. Look! There's even a pretty bow wrapped around it." She wears a proud smile across her face that makes me forget why I'm mad at her in the first place.

"Are they for her?"

Mara bites down on her lower lip and uses her left hand to grab my waist and pull me closer. "Do they look like they're for her?" She whispered lowly into my ear. I feel the hair on my skin rise at the feeling of her breath against my neck.

"I—I um. No?" I stuttered.

"These aren't for her, Mason. " She hands me the bouquet of tulips and looks down at me with her soft brown eyes. "These flowers are for you."

"MJ."

"Mm?" She hummed.

I lean forward and I kiss her cheek. The crowd that had formed around us start to cheer like a band of bumbling baboons in the open savanna's.

I would have never in a million years think to do that. Never in a million years would I think to want to do that. I begin to process what I've just done. I did that one thing with the one person I'd least expect. The one thing I now want more of.

"Thank you." I uttered. "For the flowers." I look down at them like they are the most beautiful thing that I have ever laid my eyes upon; but that would only be a lie. The right answer is the one that stands before me at this very moment.

Mara Jace took a deep breath. "I don't know what happened to you but please don't ever do that again." She begged. "I missed you like crazy."

The bouquet holds firm in my grasp as she pulls me into a warm embrace. It's sudden but it feels like home. I feel warm and safe. Like nothing else could go wrong. That I truly belong here,

in the warmth of her embrace.

"I missed you too, MJ."

I missed you terribly is what I wished to have said. And it's all my fault. I've been acting childish and I can't even help but feel jealous.

"I was worried you wouldn't show..."

I rub the small of her back as her voice grows soft. "I thought that you wouldn't come tonight."

I shake my head. "I wouldn't miss it for the world." I answered. "When have I ever missed one of your games, Mara Jace?" I questioned.

Mara shook her head. "Never."

"Exactly." I nod. " I would rather be here than anywhere else." Because that's the absolute truth.

I would rather be here because that's where she is. And wherever she is...

There I am too. I would do anything to be around her. Because when I'm not...

I can hardly breathe.