all jung wooyoung ever wanted was to go about life like he always did, and that worked for him; until the top-tier celebrity choi san was in the picture, that is.
but there was a catch; wooyoung was his anti-fan.
start: august 9, 2023
end: septembe...
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since there was practically no where else they could go to talk freely without the risk of san being recognized, the pair had decided to hold their important conversation at a park nearby. san comfortably sat next to wooyoung on the park bench. he stared at wooyoung, waiting for him to speak up.
wooyoung swallowed his spit. he knew he was the one who dragged san out of there so they could talk things out, but damn, he really should've thought about how to start things off, because now all he could do was sit there like an idiot that was incapable of uttering a single word.
he decided to just speak whatever came to his mind instead of trying to be poised. "you were right," he started, looking down at his hands. "i was, ehm— running away, from you. i mean not exactly, but i did leave the apartment because of what happened."
san didn't immediately say anything. he leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. wooyoung pursed his lips, finally looking at san. how did he manage to stay so calm and laid back in a situation like this? "i know. but don't worry," he said, bumping shoulders with wooyoung, "i understand. not really, but you know... it was kinda my fault. i was the one who made the first move on you. i shouldn't have done that, even if it was in the heat of the moment..." san trailed off, staring keenly at wooyoung. his eyes said he expected a specific response. was this guy really toying around with him? he obviously knew wooyoung reciprocated, so what was he getting at?
...was this douchebag really trying to get wooyoung to admit he didn't mind the kiss?
wooyoung cleared his throat and dropped the eye contact, staring straight ahead. "well, i'm glad you're aware that it was all your fault." he shrugged, not hesitating even one bit to dump the blame on the celebrity. if he wanted to take responsibility then who was wooyoung to stop him?
much to his surprise, san started to laugh. wooyoung glared at him, sneering. "hey, don't you think that's a bit too much? you did kiss me back, you know. it's your responsibility too," san said, still laughing.
"well what was i supposed to do?" wooyoung murmured, unable to come up with a valid reason as to why he even kissed back. he didn't know why he did that, either. "like you said, it was in the heat of the moment."
san nodded his head, that entertained look never leaving his face. was wooyoung really that interesting to him? he always seemed to be amused and curious, or was that just his resting face? "at least you're aware of that much. then why did you run away from me?"
wooyoung side-eyed the boy as if the answer couldn't be obvious enough. was he stupid? "bro, you're literally a celebrity." he reminded. "getting involved with each other would do no good for either of us."
"so what if i'm a celebrity? and plus, i'm not your bro," he quickly responded, slinging an arm around wooyoung's shoulder and bringing him closer. wooyoung looked up at him with raised eyebrows. why did he act like him being a celebrity wasn't a big deal? it really changed everything.
wooyoung honestly didn't care about all the new ideas of himself that had awakened after he locked lips with san. the fact that he was revolted just because he had kissed a celebrity, not because he had kissed a man, spoke volumes. it wasn't that big of a deal, anyway. he never really spent much of his time thinking about his sexuality and the newfound possibility of him being attracted to men as well didn't really change anything. it wasn't a big deal. what was a big deal, was the fact that he kissed choi san out of everyone. the same person he hated with all his heart.
"and i still don't like you." wooyoung pointed out. san looked down at him as if his words of aversion held no weight anymore.
"yeah right. if you really didn't then you wouldn't have kissed me back even if it was in the 'heat of the moment', or whatever," san said, completely dismissing wooyoung's expression of his hatred for him.
wooyoung sighed. could he just stopping saying the word 'kiss' every five seconds? "what exactly do you want, anyway? like what point are you trying to prove by convincing yourself that i don't hate you?" wooyoung quipped.
san teasingly looked away like he was thinking out an answer to wooyoung's question. "hmm. i just wanna know how you feel," he said. "how am i supposed to behave if i don't know what you expect from me?"
"feel about what, exactly?"
"the kiss, wooyoung." that word again. san leaned back against the bench, crossing his arms. "to be honest, i don't know exactly what it is that i want, either. i didn't think that far into things." he turned to look at wooyoung, who stared back at him curiously. "all i know is that i really, really wanna kiss you again."
as soon as the words came out of his mouth, wooyoung removed san's arm from around his shoulder and looked at the guy like he had done something illegal. "do you really have no filter whatsoever? you just say whatever comes to mind?"
san shrugged. "i'm not the shy type." he said and leaned towards wooyoung. "now that i've come clean, why don't you?"
what was he even supposed to say? all wooyoung had been able to comprehend so far was that he liked the kiss, but he didn't like choi san. san at least knew what he wanted to some extent, but wooyoung was lost. he still hated the very sight of choi san's face and everything about him was annoying, from his appearance to his demeanor. wooyoung hated everything.
wooyoung shook his head. "i don't know about that, but san, you're a celebrity, for god's sake. i shouldn't be getting involved with the likes of you in the first place regardless of what i feel. you should think about your reputation as well. it doesn't matter what i want from you, whether i hate or like you, because i won't start things with you either way." wooyoung proclaimed.
"and what if it happens again? what if we end up doing something in the heat of the moment like last time?"
"it won't happen again and if it does, well... we'll talk about it then. but trust me, it won't ever happen again." wooyoung said confidently, but deep down, he himself didn't trust the words that came out of his mouth. whenever he was with choi san, he seemed to forget all the promises he'd made to himself.
he looked back at san who didn't seem offended, just like wooyoung had expected. choi san was egoistic, prideful and popular. things like this wouldn't matter to him. san just sat there quietly. he had a strange glint in his eyes like he didn't trust wooyoung's words either.
wooyoung let out a breath he had been holding, leaning back on the bench. a cool breeze blew over the two of them, relaxing his nerves. at least one thing was out of his way; now, he didn't have to dread coming back to the apartments and crossing paths with choi san again.
