Here's to You, Zephaniah.

Zephaniah (19)

Jupiter

I haven't contacted anybody. I know my bother got my trap lockdown and has been updating me on everything, even with me not answering him back, he knows to keep me updated. I just had to get away from everybody. I decided to physically come to see Brea. I asked her, and she sent the location immediately. It has been a few days since the incident, and it may seem to them that, I'm running from my problems, but I just need a break for right now. It always going to be problems. I decided just to ignore it for a few days. They have been running for a lifetime. I just need a week. It has been 3 days. I got here at Brea's town yesterday night, I took the earliest available flight and was off. I slept at a hotel. I just wanted to respect her home. It's the next day, and we are at Starbucks she said not to far from her house. We just got here too. I didn't recognize her. Not in a bad way, Brea always been beautiful to me. I just-man. We grown so much over the years and so many memories hold within her dark brown eyes. I really let her go. Damn.

I pull my arms out for a hug and she accepted it. We went and order our drinks and after we got them,we sat down and just stared at each other. Not a wrinkle in sight, not a pimple, just pure black beauty. I wonder what she thinking. I wonder why she met up with me after all theses years. Do she feel regret behind them dark orbs? We stayed in contact but now, in this moment, it feel like we just familiar strangers.

Brea

When Jupiter first asked me to see him, I was going to say no. I really wanted to say no but after talking to some friends, I realize he need one right now too. I told him yes and sent the lo. I went to sleep that night feeling happy. I mean anybody should, seeing a longtime friend of there's. As in this moment, as he look at me, I don't regret my decision, I just regret the emotions that coming with this interaction. I thought, I drown and killed theses feelings and now, I feel like a young teenager again, being around him, all in love. I wish you were the one juju, I really do.

"Brea I want to thank you again, for meeting me today. I need somebody with a positive outlook on life around me, you always had a way of clearing my conscience."

I just smiled. I didn't know what to say to him. I wouldn't know how to handle all that shit on my shoulders, I didn't then and I don't know how to now. I moved on in life and I'm happy. I hope he don't keep me around just for comfort. Definitely after all theses years.

"Brea, stop overthinking. You have that look on you're face when you zone out, and allow yourself to get in your feelings. Enjoy the moment with me. I mean no I'll intentions when I came out to see you, I mean it when I said, I just need an clear conscience. I know we done for life, I accepted that a long time ago. I fuck up and I never felt the need to spin the block on you again, as the young kids say. To cause you pain again never been on my agenda. Even to this day. "

I took a sip of my drink and watch him do the same. I put my hand on my chin and stared at him. "Jupiter, why won't you just leave that lifestyle." I thought he was going to be dramatic and say mind my business. Instead he looked over as he was in distant thought, then he looked at me and this eye contact is like a different realm of life. Everybody around us don't exist. I barely exist or at least this is what it feels like. "I wish time didn't matter brea." I was waken back to reality "Jupiter what?"

Jupiter

I been in this shit for so long. This is what I consider home. This is my life. It was during you, and it's always been after you. This is the child I never had. This is the child, I'm never going to have. I understand if you never understand where I'm coming from about this. In another lifetime, I'll probably considered you're advice, maybe that's why in this one I can't. I looked at her. It looked like she about to cry. I saw her blink and she did. One tear shed. Brea look back at me. I was expecting her to say she was about to leave. I was expecting her to say she got a little one now. I was expecting everything but them words.