Safe Haven(bxbxb+)

Blade(37)

Tw: Mention of self harm!¡

Emerson pov

My skin was starting to crawl...I enjoyed Kalons touch way too much the other day... There was no way I'd be able to help myself...I needed more...I made my way towards Kalon's room again. Before I was stopped, I felt my waist was grabbed...as my heart stopped.

Fuck

I knew this was a terrible idea, I shouldn't be doing this, I shouldn't be bothering them...
The way my stomach plummeted pretty much proved it, my face must've given it all away, I went pale.

"Hey Em...are you okay?" Vance whispered asking me calmly, while he spoke, his gaze scanned over my face while he watched me, his tone was very fatherly...I wasn't sure how I felt about that...
Did I look obvious? Did I give everything away?
'Quit being so obvious, Emerson...'

"Yeah...of course I am..." I smiled. "I'm just going to wash up before I head down for dinner." I stepped closer to him, pushing up on my toes,Vance hummed with a smile, he gave me a look of mis belief, like he didn't believe what I was saying...Before he fluffed my hair and I ran off...
Kalon glanced up to me from the book in his lap.

"Where's uhm - Adorjan?" I whispered softly as he smiled.
"Downstairs, he needed a blood bag..."

"Oh...vampire?"
Kalon nodded as chills went down my spine, I was finally grasping everything from being here. It was frightening but I wasn't one to be a scaredy cat.

"Did you need something?" He tilted his head softly.

"I-I'm just uhm itchy..." I whispered, he immediately ushered me over, which made me smile slightly.

"You have a cute dimple..." he whispered as he patted the bed, I covered any noises of a stutter, as I blushed. God I was pathetic....I sat down next to him.

"Is it from the addiction?" His tone was soft as he spoke.

"I don't have an addiction!" I snapped as his face filled with hurt. Good. He can't sit here telling me what I have and don't have...

"Uhm okay...what's wrong?"

"Just itchy..." I hummed, in a slightly grumbled tone.

"Let me see..." he reached over, he pulled down the collar of my sweatshirt...It was awkward, and would've been more work to roll my sleeve up. His warm fingertips brushed my skin, I felt a sudden shock, as it shot through me, running down my spine, all the way from my fingertips to toes...
It was exhilarating, he could easy get high off of feeling. I couldn't stop the moan from escaping my lips, my cheeks burnt bright red, as I slapped my hand over my mouth. My eyes shut tightly, I couldn't open them, I may die of embarrassment. But the feeling was extremely pleasurable. He had pulled away completely. When I heard a soft chuckle, my eyes shot open.

"Don't laugh." I growled, shoving his chest slightly, as he put his hands up defensively.

"I didn't control it!" Glancing up and down his body, he reached out again. Before he hesitated again. "Take your sweatshirt off..." he said softly, I debated retorting with a bratty response. But I did want his hands on me again I wasn't going to risk it.

Pulling the sweatshirt up, the feeling of my skin on my torso being exposed to the fire-boy. Suddenly I felt more embarrassed than I was before, my arms wrapped around my body, suddenly insecure... Was he watching...was he judging? I zoned out on the floor, when his warm hand on my wrist, pulled me out of it, as it fell like straight sparks shooting through my body.

"S-shit..." I mumbled out, panting slightly.

"Does that feel good?" Kalon said with a smile.

"Like fucking drugs..." I mumbled back, as his hands slid down my forearms his electric fingertips running over my thick cuts, some of them were fresh and some weren't, when he pulled away I felt everything wash over me, like a big heavy blanket...
I wanted more...immediately, I grabbed his wrist and slid them under my shirt, forcing them against my chest.

"More..." Kalon pulled away, furrowing his eyebrows...

"We have to get down to dinner..." he mumbled, glancing me up and down, completely judging me.

I felt like a pregnant person, with the way my emotions were fluctuating.. Embarrassed again, but this time it was harder more aggressively...tears pricked my eyes. I needed more...of him...or I needed to inject...The thought to stabbing the needle into my arm made me dirty...I starting to unconsciously scratch at my upper arm, as he placed a hand on my thigh. My eyes rolled back, it was so heavily pleasurable.

"Mmhm~" I nodded slightly taking it all in, after a few minutes I slowly opened my eyes. As he pulled away, and replaced his hand on my cheeks with a soft smile.

"Better?"

"Thank you..." I whispered softly.

"Don't tell anyone..." he mumbled lowly.

"Can I repay you...?"

His eyes went slightly wide, was I taking too much from him...

"No...Em if I'm able to help you that's plenty for me."  I grabbed my sweatshirt, as I pulled it over my head his gaze traveled down to my sides, some of my thickest scars were placed there.

Carefully placed, and throughly thought about...
I was drug crazed it took one comment about my body, and I was gone...

"Tell me...what are you thinking?" Kalon whispered as my cheeks lit up, going bright red.

"J-just how disgusting my scars are..."

"Hey don't say that..." he replied in comfort...before my walls starting building, I was letting him know too much...

"It took him one comment for me to destroy my body..."

"Who? Who said it?"

"My drug dealer..." I laughed, but it was breathless, it wasn't a real laugh...an awkward silence laugh, of uncomfortableness...
That point was low for me, I had been so deep into drugs, I barely even recognized who I was, I was completely lost, the only person who ever talked to me, was the one putting me in that hole.
"You look like your putting on weight?"

And the blade had mind of its own...it was thoughtless...

"Hey, you're here now though...maybe Vance can put you in some therapy..."

"I'd rather not." I grit with an aggressive snap, pushing off the bed. "I-" Kalon tried to speak, but I was over it.

I'm not gonna let him try and comfort me any more...
I was too much of a fuck up, I needed my relief, I needed my needle.