"Happier than ever
Kinda just like Billie Eilish"
🫧🫧🫧
I spent the rest of the day with Vanessa, ignoring curious glances from my classmates and brushing of the questions from my other friends. And at the end of the day, I didn't know how to feel about the fact Xavier didn't even approach me.
The day went well. Well, if you ignore Star. And Jason. And Xavier. And the grumpy teachers and stupidly long homework.
And PE class.
Ok so maybe today wasn't great, but it was ok.
And whatever negative emotions I was feeling would be whisked away tonight. Apparently, Vanessa somehow convince me to go to a party with her and loosen up. It sounded like a very bad idea, and I would rather stay at home with Netflix and chocolate. But Vanessa being her usual stubborn self, lured me into it.
So tonight, no Xavier, no Star, no Jason.
No overthinking.
Just forget the fact I'm overthinking about how to stop overthinking in the party. Where there is usually no body at all overthinking anything at all.
I sat back at my chair in the balcony, letting the cool air breeze calm my nerves as I waited for Vanessa to come pick me up. I heard the balcony door open and close, and my nerves sped up when my brother sat beside me.
"Are you ok?"
"What do you want? And I'm perfectly fine."
"Woah, I can't just check up on you?"
"Well, everyone that has asked that question end up asking about Xavier."
"I do want to know about that, but not now. I just want to know why you're acting weird."
"I'm not acting weird."
"So the fact you locked yourself in your room all through there night is 'perfectly fine'?"
"I just needed space."
"What happened Amy?-"
"Xavier played me!"
Every single time I hear his name, I'm filled with rage. And right now, I just might explode.
"You were right since the beginning, you were right to have your doubts and I should have listened. But no, I let myself fall into the trap."
"What did he do?"
"He played me. He walked away. Right when we were making out-"
"You what?!-"
"Now he's probably gonna break up, or he'll start begging for us to be friends and- and then he'll tell me he was dating someone for a month and- and-"
"He isn't Jason."
"Exactly. He's worse!"
"Amy, Amy calm down."
"I should've-"
"Amy."
Slowly, I turned to face him. He had a calm expression on his face, which calmed me down.
"If he is a player, why would he be affected by what he did?"
"It's called a guilty conscience."
"It's called care and regret."
Silence enveloped us as I let his words sink in. Living in the moment of his wisdom, he gave me a pat on the head, reminding me to not do anything stupid, then left. Coincidentally, immediately he left, Vanessa barged into my room.
