FOREVER WITH HIM

CHAPTER THIRTY ONE

I could get used to traveling. Seeing the world, meeting new people, and immersing myself in different cultures. These past two months and a half months have been amazing and eye-opening.

Switzerland was beyond incredible. Just like Mexico, it offers a beautiful and diverse scenery and culture. The food was one of the many highlights of the trip.

When we returned home, I expected to get back into our usual routine. Enjoy the fact that Lex is more at home than before. However, I'm Rosalie Cain and life loves to throw curveballs at me.

Obviously, we have a lot of mail waiting for us; we've been gone for a while. What I don't expect is the letter that suddenly has my hands shaking and sweat coating my forehead. My heart is racing and I internally count to ten to calm myself.

East Bank Correctional Facility.

My throat suddenly dries up.

Why? Why now?

I don't need this. I can't open this right now. I've only been back home for two days and I have to deal with this, right now? Nope.

I toss the letter aside and go through the rest of the mail. The kind that doesn't scare me to death.

Minutes trickle down as I go read through the letters. Most of them were directed to Lex. I'm distracting myself, delaying the inevitable. I'm going to know what's in that envelope. I'm going to be affected in some way by the words in that letter.

When there are no more envelopes to open, I just walk out of the office and go to the bedroom. I prepare for the arrival of our family and friends. I take a nice, long, and relaxing bath. The anxiety falls off my body and I savor every sweet moment I am not entertaining thoughts of that letter.

***

Dinner with everyone goes by swimmingly. I have missed these people. Sitting around the dinner table, the food is delicious, the conversation is flowing freely. There's laughter; lots of laughter and bright smiles. A part of me hurts that Nana is no longer with us, however, I know that she is watching over us. She's having the time of her life with Grandpa Louis and Uncle Dom.

My earlier anxiety creeps back in when people start leaving. Once the twins are tucked in, I get ready for bed. Lex walks into the bedroom just as I crawl into the comfy bed covers. My stomach drops when I see the envelope in his right hand.

My gaze trails from his hand, and slowly makes its way up his am until I meet his eyes. I feel my bottom lip start to quiver. He closes the distance between us in a second and I fall apart in his arms.

"Shh, baby. It's alright my love." I cry more at the comforting words coming from him. He holds me, like the glue that he is. He keeps me from breaking into a million pieces.

I calm down, my sobs reduced to hitched breaths. He wipes away my tears and places a kiss on each cheek. "Are you okay now?"

I nod and then snuggle back onto his chest. This closeness helps me regain control over my emotions. I hear the ruffling of paper followed by a tearing sound. Lex's voice then calmly reads through the letter.

"Rosalie,

I know that a letter is the last thing you would expect to come from me. I'm pretty surprised that I even had the courage to write to you myself. Being in this hellhole has given me some time to think about what I have done to you. I have spent days upon days, months upon months, thinking about what I did to you.

I forced my love on you. I treated you badly. Abducting you was not okay and I regret the decisions that I made when it came to that. I regret forcing my feelings on you. I regret not being able to accept that you did not feel the same way I did. I let my delusion control me. I let the idea of being with you control me. That was not fair to you.

I know what I did is unforgivable and shameful. I am deeply sorry for all the hurt I caused you and your loved ones. I now know and understand that you are with someone who loves you. Alexander loves you in a way that you deserve to be loved and in a way that I could never even begin to try and love you. I know that you love him the same, you literally fought me to find your way back to that man. I hope to find someone who would love me like that; one day when I'm out of these prison walls.

I know that these are just words. Ink on paper but I hope that they bring you some peace. They can never undo the damage I did and I understand that forgiving me will never be an easy task. I only ask that you grasp the sincerity of these words. I hope that one day you will forgive me. That one day, you will no longer see me as the enemy.

Sincerely,

Paul Donnadieu"

I stay still in Lex's arms. I don't move a muscle like I'm caught in a trap. When he was reading the letter out loud, my mind kept getting flashes of when I was kidnapped. When I was gone, taken away from my family. The horrible treatment I suffered at Paul's hands.

He beat me.

Those three words ricochet around my head like a renegade tennis ball. They echo loudly in my head and I don't even notice my lips move to utter them out loud.

"He beat me." I hear my voice crack.

Lex tenses.

I look up at him and finally see the anger on his face. His eyes are dark, filled with rage. I feel his erratic heartbeat. This man went through a lot to get me back. As hard as it was, he found me and brought me back. And to see him angry, taken back to the place that my mind also sunk into, it hurts me. Alexander saw where I was kept. He saw that replica of a room that I was held in.

"No amount of words he writes will ever be enough to apologise for what he did. I hate him, Rosalie. I hate them both for what they did to you."

I turn and wrap my arms around his torso. I hold on to him, pouring all my love into this one act. Offering him the same comfort he brought me.

"You're my life. I wish I could have found you earlier. I wish things ended differently with Belle so that you never had to endure that mental and physical torture. It hurts me to know that you hurt. You experienced all of that because you fell in love with me."

I shake my head, my face nestled in the crook of his neck. "Don't you dare blame yourself. You didn't give her the idea nor the syringe she drugged me with. You didn't give her the gun she wanted to shoot me with. Paul and Belle are just two people who thought that they could get away with what they did and then live happily ever after."

I said it once and I'll say it again. I really do hope they get all the rehabilitation that they both need but I don't need to have reminders of what they did to me. Seeing the address that letter came from, and the words written on the paper that it carried, triggered me. It took a lot to build myself back up after that traumatic experience.

Paul can feel whatever remorse he has in his heart, but it has to be away from me. "It's futile to dwell on the past. I'm glad you came for me. I'm here, safe with you and our babies."

I feel his body begin to relax, the tension leaving his body. I move my head back to look at his face. We smile at each other at the same time. "You're a strong woman. I'm always in awe of the strength that you carry. I'm honored to call you my wife."

"And I'm blessed to call you my husband. I'm strong because I have you to lean on whenever I am weak."

He shakes his head, "You were strong before I was ever in the picture."

"Thank you."

He kisses me slowly, and passionately. I let him lead the kiss and allow myself to float. When we come up for air he takes the letter next to us and crushes in one hand. I detangle myself from his embrace when he moves towards the bathroom with the letter and the envelope.

He walks back towards the bed with his hands empty. "Now, that is over. Are you ready to get some well-deserved sleep?"

His excitement rubs off on me because I know damn well we aren't just going to sleep. He has naughty thoughts in his head and my mind is also on the same track.

"Yes."