Cosmic Love

Daddy Issues

TW mention of rape, mention of self harm, mention of stabbing, mention of sexual/physical abuse.

Sam and Maia were now sat on Sharon's bathroom floor, Sam was waiting for Maia to start talking. They had been sitting in silence for a little while but Sam didn't mind, he knew he was asking a lot and Maia would need some time to mentally prepare.

"After Sky literally turned to dust in my hands I just wanted someone to fuck, no strings attached. He was actually really nice at the beginning, the first time I kissed him I almost threw up because I couldn't stop thinking of Skylar but he said it was okay. It really was no strings attached at first but then...he asked me to stay for dinner, but it didn't feel like a request, it was like he was telling me I was never leaving his apartment again." Maia said before letting out a little chuckle. "I don't think he ever planned on letting me leave."

"During the dinner he told me about how he lost his brother in The Blip, how his parents died when he was still young and I told him about how I lost you and Maria. And I know that we weren't talking, but when you blipped, I didn't even have the option to talk to you. Then he got really, really angry. I think he thought that you two were my biological parents or something. Anyway, he started throwing plates and glasses and anything he could find until he pushed me onto his bed and fucked me."

Sam was doing his best to hold back his tears as Maia spoke, he could hear the shake and hesitation in her voice. She was still scared of Liam and he wasn't there to help when Maia needed him most.

"The rest of the year is just a blur but I remember in 2019 he got so pissed, I had never seen him so angry." Tears streamed out Maia's eyes as she picked at the skin around her nails. "He grabbed a knife from the draining board and stormed over to me, he had seen the cuts on my wrist and thigh and said that if I really wanted to die I wouldn't mind if he stabbed me. I remember for a split second I felt so relieved," Maia let out a sob. "and I didn't even want to die, I just wanted everyone to be back and for some fucked up reason hurting myself makes me forget that Sky's gone."

"After he stabbed me, I ran out the front door so fast. I can't remember how but I made it to the compound and collapsed in the kitchen. Steve found me in a pool of blood and I couldn't hear him screaming for Natasha and him crying telling me to just wake up and him calling the ambulance. I woke up in the hospital and the first thing he said was 'You're up.'." Maia let out another laugh as she looked up to Sam, seeing if he remembered.

"Just like I did when I found out." He said making her smile.

"Yeah." She sadly smiled as more tears streamed down her face.

"And then in 2020, I got really bad. I almost killed Natasha because I thought I was back at The Red Room and I couldn't deal with it. So one night Steve and Natasha were in the living room, I told them I loved them before going upstairs and...I brought a bunch of these blue pills of a dealer and overdosed. And once again, Steve found me. I hated him for saving my life and I never got to apologise before he died."

"He knows, I promise you Maia, he knows." Sam assured her making her let out another sob. "Before he gave me the shield he said 'Tell Maia I know she's sorry and I love her'. He loves you so much, it doesn't matter that he's not here anymore."

Sam wrapped his arms around Maia and let her cry on his chest. "What happened in London?" Sam hesitantly questioned.

"I don't know." Maia honestly replied. "I just remember it being cold."

Sam took a deep breath in before asking, "Before I came in were you...y'know...doing it? And I'm not mad, I just want to know."

"I want to stop but I can't and I don't know why or why it makes me feel better but it makes me feel...it lets me take a break from every other shitty thing in my life." Maia explained as Sam placed a kiss on her head. "It's just...everyone has just got their person back but I've lost everything. Tony's gone, Steve's gone, Natasha's gone and Sky's gone. And I know Tony, Steve and Natasha aren't my fault but Sky dying is. And it doesn't matter that I didn't put the blade in her hand but I should've been able to tell something was wrong."

"Have you been back to the apartment since it happened?" Sam asked but Maia shook her head. "When this is all over do you want me to come with you?"

Maia nodded before forcing her tears to dry up. "Can you go get Bucky? I need to talk to him." Maia requested as her and Sam stood up.

Sam nodded before leaving the bathroom, a few minutes later Bucky came in and locked the door behind him. "Look, I know what you want to talk about but I can't explain without you hating me." Bucky said making Maia scoff.

"I know you killed her, Jamie, but why is her name in your book?" Maia asked.

"I can't tell you." Bucky sighed.

"Bucky, please. I just need one person to be honest with me and not treat me like I'm a ticking time bomb and you have always been that person so tell me!"

"I'm your biological dad." Bucky stated making Maias face drop.

"What?" She muttered in disbelief.

A silence settled over the two for a little bit until Maia stormed out the bathroom, Bucky rushing after her.

"Maia, wait!"

"No! How could you not tell me something like that?" Maia angrily questioned with tears in her eyes. "I lived with you for two weeks, sobbing every day because of Sky and you just didn't tell me even though you had every opportunity!"

"I didn't tell you because I knew you would react like this!" Bucky defended as Zemo, Sharon and Sam all looked at each other in confusion.

"Oh- okay. Fuck you!" Maia scoffed again before leaving Sharon's apartment.

"Should someone go after her?" Sharon asked Sam.

"No." Bucky answered, pouring himself a glass of whiskey and quickly downed it.

"Ah, I'm guessing you told her." Zemo chimed in.

"Shut up." Bucky spat through his teeth making Sam furrow his brows.

"What did you do?" Sam immediately questioned.

"Told her the truth, which she practically begged for, and she didn't like it." Bucky stated.