TW mention/bandaging of self harm (honestly I have no idea if it needed a trigger warning but I put one just to be safe)
It was a couple days later, Maia hadn't slept or eaten, she couldn't even cry anymore and had been ignoring all the texts and calls from Sam and Bucky. So she went to the one person she knew still cared about her.
"Maia? What are you doing here, I thought you were with Bucky and Sam?" Maria questioned as she opened her front door.
Maria could tell that Maia was absolutely exhausted, physically and mentally, so she wrapped her arms around the girl and pulled her into the house. "Whoa, babe, what's wrong?" Maria asked as she cupped Maia's cheek with her hand.
"I can't do this anymore." Maia muttered, completely numb. "I can't do this without them, without her." Maria didn't have to ask who Maia was talking about, it was very obvious.
"If I can do this without Nat, then you can do this without Sky." Maria attempted to comfort her daughter but Maia immediately shook her head.
"Nat isn't your fault though. I could've stopped Sky." Maia stated. "And I can't live with that fact."
Maria sighed, looking down to her feet as her heart sunk to her stomach. "C'mon, I know you and I know you haven't cleaned them." Maria said before pulling Maia through the apartment and into the bathroom, it was very clear to her Maia was hurting herself again and she just wanted to make sure they were clean and put bandages on them.
"They're fine." Maia assured her.
"I think I'll be the judge of that." Maria replied as she waited for Maia to show her the cuts. "I just want to make sure they don't get infected and put bandages on."
"Fine." Maia huffed before taking her hoodie off and pulling her jeans down, over the couple days it took her to get back to America she had spent quite a bit of time in public bathrooms mutilating her body.
It took everything in Maria to hold her tears back, she couldn't even imagine doing something like that to herself, no matter how much pain she was in. She wondered how Maia could do that to herself, how she could willingly drag the blade across her skin?
Maria got saline solution out from under the sink, along with gauze and bandages, this wasn't the first time she had bandaged Maia's wounds.
"Was there anything in particular that made you wanna do it?" Maria asked as she poured the solution over Maia's thighs and arms.
"It's just everything right now." Maia sighed, finally relaxing her body after more than 48 hours of being on edge.
"Then tell me everything." Maria replied, glancing at Maia with a comforting smile on her face as she used a paper towel to dry the excess saline solution before placing the gauze where it needed to go.
❀•°❀°•❀
So that's exactly what Maia did, she told Maria everything. She started from the beginning of The Blip and ended with her conversation with Bucky in the bathroom at Sharon's apartment.
When Maria said 'everything' she wasn't actually expecting everything as Maia wasn't usually the type to talk about all of her trauma in one go but Maria didn't mind. She actually appreciated knowing what was going on inside Maia's head.
But part of her saw Natasha in Maia and it killed her. The way Maia spoke as if everything was still in the present, the way Maia couldn't stop the words flying out her mouth once she started talking, was exactly what Natasha did when she finally opened up to Maria about the Red Room.
"I know something that will cheer you up." Maria said making Maia furrow her brows. "Falling asleep on the sofa while we stuff our faces and watch Christmas movies even though it's only May."
"Sounds like a plan." Maia forced a smile onto her face.
"Go get some pajamas out my draw and I'll get us some snacks." Maria ordered.
Maia made her way to Maria's bedroom and got some pyjamas, a pair of shorts knowing long bottoms would just make the bandages itch and a baggy shirt.
"What drink do you want?" Maria yelled from the kitchen as Maia sat on the sofa.
"Do you have any vodka?" Maia asked making Maria laugh slightly.
"Of course I have vodka, what sort of question is that." Maria chuckled as she sat down next to Maia, handing her a bottle of vodka.
"Thank you." Maia grinned. "I was thinking we could watch Happiest Season."
"So we can watch other gay women be happy? No thank you. How 'bout The Grinch?" Maria suggested making Maia immediately nod.
❀•°❀°•❀
Both women ended up falling asleep on the sofa and were rudely awoken at 7:23am by someone banging on the door.
"I'll get it." Maria groaned, both of them hungover.
"If it's someone looking for me tell 'em I'm not here." Maia muttered as she tried to ignore her pounding headache.
Maria opened the front door and came face to face with a very worried looking Sam Wilson. "Have you seen Maia?" He immediately asked.
Maia could hear him so she rolled off the sofa, with a thud, before hiding under said sofa. She didn't want to talk to Sam, he hadn't done anything wrong but she still didn't want to see him.
"Yes I have." Maria replied.
"Is she here?"
"Maybe, maybe not."
"I just want to know she's safe." Sam stated making Maria sigh.
"She's safe." Maria assured him. "Just very...hungover and slightly missing the will to live. But she's safe."
"Can I talk to her or even just see her?" Sam requested, letting out a relieved breath as he knew Maia was alive.
"Maia!" Maria yelled but immediately regretted it as it just made her headache worse.
"Are you hungover as well?" Sam questioned.
"If you can't fix the party, you join the party." Maria shrugged as Maia trudged over to the front door, a blanket wrapped around her.
"We have something to do, get ready." Sam ordered making Maia furrow her brows before realising what he was talking about.
"No, not today. Not ever." Maia said, walking away from Sam.
"The only way you're gonna move past it and stop hallucinating is going back." Sam told her, pushing past Maria and following Maia.
"You don't get it." Maia sighed.
"You're right, I don't get it. But that doesn't mean I'm gonna let you drown in your depression." Sam shot back.
"Why not?" Maia snapped.
"Because I care about you!" Sam yelled back. "Why is it so hard for you to believe that you're worth something, that you are actually significant in other people's lives?"
"Get out!" Maia shouted, Sam didn't budge so Maria glared at him and he scoffed before leaving.
"C'mere." Maria ushered, holding her arms out for Maia who immediately accepted the hug.
YOU ARE READING
Cosmic Love
FanfictionMaiabelle Pavlov, also know as the only survivor of the Red Room and HYDRA's Winter-Widow project, was there when S.H.I.E.L.D fell. Unfortunately for her, she was knocked unconscious by a piece of falling rubble. When she woke up she was handcuffed...
