31. Dallas

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I sighed as I looked at Ryker, passed out drunk on the patio, bottle in one hand, photo album and scrapbook clutched to his chest with the other and tear stained cheeks and puffy eyes. His hair is a mess and he looks like he's losing a little weight but that could be because he hasn't run or worked out since two weeks ago after the funeral. He has taken time off work and believe it or not, has let Altan stay. He won't talk to any of us and he's always drinking and won't let anyone touch the photo album or the scrapbook. I'm worried about him.

"He's passed out again?" Gaelen asked coming up to stand beside me at the window looking at our mate on the patio couch.

"Yes. I would be worried if he wasn't a shifter that his body would fall apart but he can heal, I'm worried about his mental state. I get how much he's hurting but he can't keep going like this. It isn't healthy." I said and Bradford looked at me and shook his head.

"Two weeks is nothing Dallas. His whole family is gone besides Altan. Let him get through this his way. It is hard to lose your parents at a young age so I can only imagine how Ryker feels with having to lose his family he's known his whole life. He's going to be hurting for a long time and he may never get over their deaths and that's ok. We just have to be there for him, any way he lets us. I want to comfort him and help him, but right now, he needs to deal with this his way and we will be there when he comes to us." Bradford went outside and sat on the table and looked at Ryker and gently wiped his cheeks and kissed his forehead and whispered something to him.

"It's just hard to see him like this. I hurt him so much in the past and he's been hurting this whole time, had a bit of happiness and now this. I don't know how much more he can take." Gaelen sighed and I put my arm around his shoulder and kissed the top of his head.

"I don't either, sweetheart." We went outside to sit down and be with our mate even if he's passed out drunk, he shouldn't be alone.

"Should we take him to bed?" I asked and felt my heartbreak at the sight of tears escaping Rykers eyes in his sleep.

"I think it's best to just let him sleep until he wakes up. He's a shifter and we aren't strong enough to carry him to bed so we should just let him sleep here." Gaelen said and that made sense. I may be built and tall but I have nothing compared to Rykers height and build plus Leo.

"I'm going to go make dinner and maybe Ryker will be awake by then so he can eat. I also need to call Dean." Bradford got up and kissed Ryker softly on the lips before going into the house.

Mikael called earlier and said their baby was born last night. He wanted Ryker to meet him but I didn't think it was such a good idea at the moment given he lost his unborn nephew and he's been drinking nonstop so I didn't want him to get upset that I haven't told him Preston was born yet. I know I should but I don't want Ryker to be even more depressed than he already is.

About forty-five minutes later Bradford walks back out to us and I noticed Ryker was starting to wake, probably from the smell of the food that was cooked and he opened his eyes, looking around him for a few seconds before sighing and sitting up slightly

"Hi loves." He whispered looking at us three and we smiled.

"Hi, I made dinner if you want to eat." Bradford said and at the mention of food, Rykers stomach growled making us chuckle.

"I'll take that as a yes. We can eat out here." Bradford said and so we got the dishes and dinner set up on the table and Ryker looked around with a confused look on his face.

"Where is everyone? It's quiet and I don't scent them here." He asked and I sighed.

Let me explain who everyone is. There's the twins, Maya and Martin, Jameson, who came to see Ryker way late the night of the funeral, Sean, Waylon, their three kids and of course Altan.

"They all went to the movies and said they will bring back dessert. They wanted to give us time alone since we haven't had much time alone since they all got here." Bradford explained and Ryker nodded.

"That was nice of them. I'm sorry if I haven't been a good mate to you three. I feel horrible and I know you're giving me space but I don't want you to feel like you have to keep your distance from me. I'm still me, a bit broken but I'm still me." He sighed and we three looked at him and shook our heads.

"You're not broken, you're hurting. You will get through this Ry, one day at a time. Also you're not a horrible mate, we understand so please don't think that way alright? It's nice talking to you though, I kinda missed that." I said as I grabbed his hand and gently squeezed it and he smiled at me.

"As long as I have you three by my side, I know I will get through this and I apologize for keeping to myself a lot, it's just a lot to handle and I didn't want to say something to upset you guys when I know you're just trying to help me. The only people I have wanted to talk to about this are gone so I kept to myself and had imaginary conversations with daddy and Zane, holding onto that hope that I could heat their voices in my head. I even called them to hear their voices on their voicemails. It hurts so much." Rykers eyes filled with tears and his lip quivered looking at us. I felt my heart breaking even more for him and for his pain. I wish there was something I could do for him to take his pain away.

"It'll be ok Ryker. Let it out though because keeping it inside will make it worse." Bradford hugged Ryker and Ryker sobbed holding onto Bradford and the sound of his sobs made me want to cry.

I didn't know his family well or that long but what I do know of them is that they were amazing people and loved Ryker so much. I know Ryker loved his family just as much from how much he talked about them and got happy when someone mentioned them to him. I looked at them three and walked inside for a moment to make a call.

"Hey mama, I just wanted to call and say I love you." I said to the wonderful woman who gave me life.

"Aw thank you sweetie. I love you too. Are you alright?" Her thick country accent came through the phone and made me relax hearing her voice.

"I'm ok. I'm just trying to be there as best as I can for Ryker right now. He's hurting mama. I don't know how to comfort him or what to do to help ease his pain." I sat down on the couch and looked at the wall, lost in thought about my mate.

"Has he been to see a doctor?" She asked and I shook my head even though she couldn't see me.

"Mama, he is a doctor."

"Yes he is but he's not a psychologist. He needs to talk to a professional if he can't function properly. From what you've told me, he's not healing in a healthy way and that can be dangerous for him. I know you love him and want him happy but son, this isn't something he can handle by himself. He needs to go see someone and get professional help. Him drinking all day long, not going to work, staying in, are all signs of depression. Y'all may not like that reality but it's the way it is. Contact a colleague at his work who can recommend someone they know and trust. I'm sure someone at that hospital goes to therapy given their line of work. By doing that, you're helping him way more than you would ever know, son."

"I will, thanks mama. I'll take all you said into consideration and get him help. You were really helpful, I appreciate it. I should go so we can eat. I just wanted to hear your voice and tell you that I love you."

"You're so sweet baby, I love you too. Keep me posted. Bye now."

"I will, bye mama." We hung up and I sat there for a minute thinking of what she said and it was good advice and she's right. Ryker is depressed and he needs help, help we can't provide for him.

I got up off the couch and went outside to join the semi lively chatter at the table and I watched Ryker a lot and he seemed to be in his head again and I wanted to cry for him, I really did.

"I'm going to go take a shower and get some sleep. Good night." Ryker stood up after he was finished eating and grabbed the photo album and scrapbook before heading inside.

I told Gaelen and Bradford about the phone call to my mama and they both agreed that we should look into a psychologist for Ryker to get some help. I hope Ryker accepts it and won't get upset that we are doing this.

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