Chapter 18

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The train ride is uneventful, and I watch the rolling hills stream by as a slight drizzle starts to fall, the green grass particularly vibrant this morning. Pulling into the station with seven minutes to spare, I wander leisurely down to the bus shelter just in time to catch the 8:24 to work, meaning that for the first time in a while I actually succeed in, one, arriving on time, and two, looking like a normal human being as I walk into the office, instead of sweating like a pig as I usually am. Hanging my slightly damp coat onto the hooks by the door, I retrieve a backpack from beside my desk that I have conveniently left stashed here for situations such as these, and quickly nip into the ladies room to change into my spare set of work clothes. I slip into the relaxed chinos and low v-necked shirt, leaving my hair in a makeshift braid. I take a last glance in the mirror as I leave, carefully swiping the remaining mascara from below my eyes in an attempt to clean myself up a bit, although I admit the effort is somewhat futile.

The office is surprisingly empty considering it's a Tuesday morning. Kenneth is here, and as our chief executive officer, is sitting at the 'head desk', which basically means he has a slightly larger desk that just happens to be all the way at the back of the office so he can keep an eye on our computer screens. The only other people in the office are members of the marketing and customer service teams, and I admit that I barely know them. I stuff my bag back under my desk and settle into my comfy gamer chair, heaving a loud sigh as I do and earning a particularly grumpy look from Kenneth who is obviously having a bad start to his day. I simply grin back as I turn my desktop on, watching as my programme loads up on the screen, the current issue in the code still on the screen from when I was working on it the day before. I try to force myself into focusing on my current programming conundrum, making a couple of slight additions to the code that I came up with the previous evening as I'd been getting ready, then lean back as I set the program running, watching as it goes through each line of code and fully expecting the red error message that comes up at line fourteen. Every single time I get stuck there, and I can't seem to work out what is going wrong, the error message taunting me each time I run the code. It's not even a difficult, thought-provoking problem that I'm trying to fix, something about confidentiality on the public forum of the site and ensuring that people's identities are saved but not visible. I huff a sigh, googling a couple of quick code fixes before picking one to try, then leaning back as I run it again.

Error! Once again the taunting red sign flashes up, and I scowl in anger at the screen, crossing my arms as I wrack my mind for a solution. But my brain simply isn't in it today, and as I stare at the error message on the screen I can't stop my thoughts from drifting away from the frustrating task, my motivation severely lacking. At first, my thoughts simply flit to menial things, like what I should make for dinner tonight. Maybe a lasagna? But then I think back to my dinner from yesterday, wondering if it's acceptable to be eating pasta two nights in a row, before I get lost in a replay of events from my previous evening, my thoughts finally flitting back to my night out, my mind filled with toe-curling, thigh-clenching flashbacks of being railed by Cade. His hands on my ass, his fingers inside me, working my open. But then I shake my head, ridding myself of the delicious memories, only to be hit by the smile-inducing image of Saul beaming at me in the train station. His endearing smirk when he recognised me. The feel of his hard chest when I bumped into him. I couldn't help but wonder what beauty he concealed under those classy shirts, the smoothness of his perfect, flawless skin, the outline of perfectly contoured abs, the slight dip of his waist where my hands would fit perfectly. And then I was back to the flashbacks, except now it wasn't Cade railing me, it was a dreamlike version of Saul, his eyes, more cat-like than they are in reality, glinting amber as he watches me, his hair, much longer than it is currently, softly brushing my face as he leans into me, his smooth skin like velvet under the pads of my fingers...

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