034. The Grinch.

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I'm going back to 505
If it's a seven hour flight or a forty-five minute drive......

The music was in full swing, the Christmas party too as I stood and sipped at a glass of cheap Cava.

This was menial, tedious and I hated this time of year.

For a number of reasons really.

But the main one being that the guy I'd been seeing for three years, had gotten engaged, whilst still seeing me, and had neglected to tell me until it had been announced in front of every single person at last years Christmas party.

Before that? Loved Christmas.
After that? Complete Grinch.

In my imagination, you're waitin' lyin' on your side.......

With your hands between your thighs........

This year, everyone was giving me a relatively wide berth, the news having spread quite quickly, everyone being fully aware come that New Years Eve before.

This year, there had been no engagement announcement, it was quiet, and in its place, there was a band playing.

They felt and sounded a little like a high school talent show band, never really branching past it, but who was I to judge?

They were good, but they had an air of they'd never made it anywhere since school.

It sounded snobbish, but it was obvious that it was something they all equally enjoyed, just doing it for what it was. A hobby, a weekend interest, extra money.

I wasn't going to argue with that.

A year on, I was still single, everyone knowing that the year before, I'd flown to a completely different state and had spent Christmas alone, in a strangers house, as part of a home exchange scheme. And I felt just that little bit more pathetic because of it.

Because I'd ran.

Stop and wait a sec
When you look at me like that, my darlin', what did you expect?
I'd probably still adore you with your hands around my neck
Or I did last time I checked.......

This year, he was married, happily for the most part, but that hadn't stopped the emails floating into my inbox every month.

Not shy of a spark
The knife twists at the thought that I should fall short of the mark
Frightened by the bite, though it's no harsher than the bark.......

How ironic, I was still as pathetic as they believed. They just didn't know it.

The middle of adventure, such a perfect place to start.......

"He's still emailing you?"

"Yeah." I said, as Sarah, a fellow colleague casually sidled over to my side.

"Have you answered?" She asked, taking a pull on her cigarette.

"No." I answered, sipping at the cheap plonk in my glass.

"Not as pathetic as you expected, right?" I added, as she raised an eyebrow.

"I didn't think you were pathetic to begin with. Just over hopeful, if anything. He's always been a selfish prick. And it's not like you were supposed to do his fucking laundry when you came to know he was cheating on you with the tail on the 11th floor." She said.

"I didn't do his laundry." I noted.

"Of course you didn't. It was metaphorical." She answered, rolling her eyes.

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