glitch | jack hughes (rewritten)

chapter 2

josephine lee

I park my car outside of his apartment complex, slouching back into my seat. I sniffle trying to clear my nose from all the crying I did on the way here. I wipe my face like a child getting rid of any tear stains. Before turning my car off I look at myself in the mirror and try to make myself look presentable. 

He won't take me seriously if I look like a mess.

I send Meredith, my best friend, a quick text letting her know I'm about to walk in and turn my car off, putting on a baseball cap and hoodie over my head. I walk up to his door, knocking three times before he answers. When he does, he quickly pulls me inside and checks both ways before closing the door behind me. 

The media would have a field day if they saw me walking in and out of my rockstar soon-to-be ex-boyfriend's apartment looking so distraught. It'd be all over magazines, and today would publicly mark the day we broke up. "You're looking rough." He points out as I take my sunglasses off. Thanks, Bren I had no idea. 

"Yeah, I'm not feeling well but I'm not staying for long so hopefully you can stand the sight of me for a little longer." I say, watching him stir his coffee from my seat. "I thought we were going to hook up." He furrows his brows, dropping his spoon in the sink. Of course, you thought that Brendan, I haven't been anything but a hookup to you since you told me you needed time for yourself but still wanted to see me. 

I still can't believe I fell for that. He was the one to fall first and since then I've been bound to this relationship with cuffs. I love him, but this kind of love hurts. I don't want to feel this weight on my shoulders anymore. Each time I leave his apartment it's with an awful consumption of guilt and insecurity. I know I haven't always had a perfect example of love but it shouldn't be this.  

I fell for every lie and manipulation tactic but I've officially snapped out of it.  

"I don't think we should see each other anymore." I say quietly, keeping my eyes on my bobbing knee. He chokes on his coffee, taking a few steps closer to me and lifting my head up by my chin. He shakes his head in disbelief. Did he not see this coming? Is he serious? 

"No, babe you don't mean that." He peels his hands away from me, looking disgusted that I'd even dare breaking up with him but he broke up with me first. "No Bren, I really can't do this anymore. It hurts me so much, I'm sorry." I break down sobbing to my ex-boyfriend turned situationship. 

After telling him that my decision is final he sits across from me, looking unamused and fed up. "Okay, well bye." he shrugs and helps me out of my chair. No hug, no kiss goodbye, the last touch I'll feel from him is one where he helps me out of his apartment. I throw my glasses back on and dart towards my car. 

I take advantage of the lack of paparazzi and pull my sunglasses off to wipe the pesky tears off my face. I know I need to let myself feel the pain of losing him, but I can't bear the idea of crying over him after we left things. My drive home feels like it'll last forever but I eventually get home. I trudge inside dramatically but leave me alone this was my first real relationship and hopefully my last. I don't ever want to feel a mushy gushy feeling ever again. 

Everyone knows love only ends in heartbreak, and while it makes for a good album it's not good for my soul. I'm about to go on a small New England tour for my last album, and I'm sure everyone will realize Brendan and I are no longer together when he doesn't show up for a single show, but until then I'll use this time to heal in privacy for as long as I can.

I throw myself onto my couch, curling up into a ball, and open my food delivery app to Uber my comfort food. I do not have it in me to go out again and get food. Not when I look how I feel. As I order a few words come to mind along with a melody. "Already? We just broke up." I say out loud but write it down either way.