First Down

18. Adrian Brown

"Fuck." I let out as I sat in my car after pulling up to Samoa's, I had gotten her to agree to leave the bar so we could have the conversation in private. I was upset with the way it came out, but honestly wasn't mad that it had come out. I got out and locked my car doors and headed to her apartment. She swung the door open before I even had the chance to knock. I walked in as she quickly closed the door and walked in her living room with attitude. Her roommates weren't home, I was grateful for that. I hated people in my business.

"I know I said it at the bar, but I'm sorry. And I mean that shit. I fucked up on my end." I put my hand to my chest. "Yeah, you did." She fumed. "Like how could you Adrian? You acted like you hated the bitch." She had a point, I wasn't a fan in the beginning. "I wasn't a fan, then our friendship grew and you witnessed that friendship grow." She rolled her eyes, "and I guess your dick did too when you were around her huh?" I chuckled, "isn't shit funny!" She yelled out. "I know." I let out calmly, I was never one for all the yelling and shit. "I don't want you talking to her." She continued.

I let out a nervous laugh, "Samoa, you have every right to be mad that I fucked her, because of the fact that we agreed not to fuck other people but that's where it stops. We are not together, you can't and won't control who I do and do not talk to." She crossed her arms, "so you think I'm supposed to be cool with you conversing with the bitch you fucked after you agreed to not do shit like that?"

"I'm not saying you have to be cool with it. I'm just telling you that you're not controlling it. I've admitted my mistake, and it hasn't happened again. Though it could have." She looked at me like I had lost my mind, "the fuck are you saying Adrian?" I ran a hand down my face, "I'm saying that I fucked up, and I've ensured that it hasn't happen again, because I owe you that respect." I paused before I continued, "It is never my intention to disrespect you, or make you feel a way. So I apologize for that, sincerely."

She stood with an attitude still, "I appreciate your honesty, and I appreciate your apology. But this does not make me feel comfortable moving forward with the fact that you act like you can't stop talking to her." I nodded, "I understand that, so maybe we shouldn't." She looked taken aback, I know she didn't expect that response. "Are you serious?" She asked, all the anger melting from her face, being replaced with hurt. "Samoa, we haven't been on the same page for a minute. You want a relationship, I've made it clear I don't. You deserve to have that shit if that's what you want. My mind is not changing on that shit right now."

"But I want you." She let out lowly with her eyes set on me. This shit sucked, I hated hurting people, "but I can't give you what you want Samoa and there's a nigga out there who can." She looked up at the ceiling as I saw her eyes start to water, she was trying not to cry. I pulled her into me as she easily wrapped her arms around me, "please don't do this." I swallowed hard as I kissed the top of her head, I didn't say anything as I just held her. She got herself together and then pushed herself off of me. She wiped her face and pushed her hair out of her face. She brought her hands to my face and leaned in and kissed me. I kissed back before pulling away to look in her face, "Adrian, please. Please just give me this. Stay with me tonight." I didn't fight her on it, I gave her what she wanted.

The next morning I woke up with Samoa sleeping under me. Last night we had sex, and talked a little more where I still let her know we needed to step back. She questioned if it was because of Jaelyn, which I side stepped by letting her know that Jaelyn had nothing to do with her wanting a relationship. I felt no desire to let her know what was possibly about to happen with Jaelyn and I, because I had no desire to hurt her as I felt like I had done that enough already. At the end of the conversation, she just asked that we still be cool and that I still go to lunch with her and her family Homecoming weekend like we had planned, which I had no issue with.