First Down

30. Jaelyn Brentwood

I sat on the bleachers as I watched Adrian and his trainer finish up his training session, he had decided to get an extra one in for fall break since he had the time and his trainer was available.

I told Adrian we could finish this conversation and I was sticking to my word, I felt it was best to meet in public, I didn't want us to possibly end up in the bedroom when we were supposed to be hashing out this shit, or whatever we were supposed to be doing. But damn it was cold, I definitely should have chosen somewhere inside instead of meeting him out here.

He finished up and made his way over to me, he took me in as I did the same with him. He let out a little smile once his eyes connected with mine. "Thanks for coming." He smiled out as he opened up his water bottle taking big gulps of it. I nodded as I sipped my coffee, reminding me of old times. Most Saturdays I came out and watched him train. I shook the thought away. The shit was too familiar, too homey, and this wasn't that.

He threw on his hoodie, "you want to go somewhere else? It's lowkey cold as shit out here." He acknowledged as I nodded quickly, "I would love that actually." He smiled, "anywhere in particular?" I shrugged, "no, just not your place." He nodded in understanding, "alright, follow me." He grabbed his bag as I got up and walked with him as we headed to our cars. As we walked I felt him looking my way, but he didn't try no shit and I was thankful for it.

He got in his car and I got in mine as we ended up at a cute local coffee shop. For me to be a local, I hadn't been here before, "I know you already had coffee but they have nice little breakfast pastries too. You ain't been here before have you?" He questioned. I shook my head no as we walked into the warm heat of the store. He ordered himself a coffee and me another one along with some pastries and then we found a table in the corner.

"So.." I let out once we were settled, we had taken a few bites of the pastries and a few sips of coffee, I was ready to finish this conversation. He looked at me, giving me slow blinks as I couldn't help but to pay attention to how beautiful his face was. God had taken his time with this man.

He repositioned himself in his seat as he leaned forward on the table, "I want you." He vocalized, his eyes dead set on mine. "These last few weeks have fucking sucked. Do you realize how much time we spent together?" He asked, I nodded, too much fucking time. I was damn near with him whenever I wasn't in class or with my friends. "More than we should have for what our agreement was." I replied.

He just looked at me for a moment, "you remember how you told me my mama said to make me commit or leave?" I nodded, curious as to what he was about to get at. "I asked if that was what you wanted and you said no, you were good with what we had." I nodded, easily recalling the conversation. "I did." I responded.

"Did you mean that?" He questioned, confusion crossed my face, "mean what?"

"That you were good with where we stood in our relationship." I shrugged as I took a sip of the hot coffee, "yeah, I was." He licked his lips, his eyes burned into mine. "I told you what my problem was and why I left, yes my feelings did grow for you more than they should have but." I shrugged, not really knowing what else to say behind it.

"Do you still have feelings for me?" He questioned as I rolled my eyes, "they're not a light switch Adrian, I can't just turn them off." He smiled, I don't know why he was doing all this smiling. I didn't return it as he laughed.

"Jaelyn, I told you at the fair how I felt about you. But let me reiterate that shit, I want you and no one else. I know I got some work to do to get us back to a better space, if you'll even allow me to experience you again. But Jae, I want you to be my girl. And I'm not about to give up on you that easy."

Him saying that shouldn't have gave me the feels it gave me. I was weak for this man, part of me wanted to just say yes, I'll be your girl! but I couldn't be weak for this man, and that part of me said to drill this nigga down and make him work! It said stand up Jaelyn! I had to keep telling myself that in my head, stand up bitch!