First Down

43. Jaelyn Brentwood

I sighed as I laid in the bed with a glass of wine in my hand and my phone propped up on my legs as I talked to Tessie on FaceTime, Adrian was out with Vinny getting drinks and I had turned down drinks with Crystal and Vivi because Tessie and I had planned a Whining Wine date via FaceTime. I missed my best friend something serious.

I had just ran down to her the conversation Adrian and I had a few nights ago after the whole Miles fiasco. "Jae," she started, her tone turning serious. "Don't take this the wrong way, or get uber emotional but have you ever thought about therapy?"

I tilted my head as I looked at her like she was crazy, "therapy for what? Listen now, just because Adrian and I get into a little argument doesn't mean I need therapy." She laughed, "no, that's not why. Arguing is regular. But I feel like you made the situation a tiny bit worse than it was and you have an unrealistic fear of Adrian leaving you and I feel like it stems from a couple of things. But I don't want to go into it if you don't want me to."

I was all ears now, I was curious as to what she thought. Tessie had done a little therapy in the past with her family before her parents got divorced. "I'm curious, even though I'm not sure when you went to school to become a therapist." She rolled her eyes, "I'm not a therapist nor pretending to be one but I feel like you could benefit from some trauma therapy."

"Trauma!?" I damn near yelled out. "Relax," she let out as she took a sip of her wine, "all I'm saying is your dad was like your anchor, he loved you immensely and it was like he was all of sudden snatched away from you. Your mother, y'alls relationship was never phenomenal but the love was still there and then she switched and snatched it away from you. The two most important relationships in your life, it's like their love was just snatched away and you treat and react to Adrian like he's going to do the same when he's shown you time and time again he's choosing you. It's like a trauma response, it's like you're trying to protect yourself from it happening to you again. But like I said, I'm not a therapist, I could be completely wrong. But I do feel like there are some things you need to uncover and unpack. And Adrian has been great with you, I just don't want you to push him away because you're trying to protect yourself and then ultimately end up with the one thing you were trying to prevent."

I drank some of my wine as I thought about what she said, "my grandparents love me and haven't snatched it away." I let out trying to poke holes in what she said. She laughed as she rolled her eyes, bringing her cup to her mouth as she took a sip. "Jae, girl. Be quiet, you are missing the point." I shrugged, knowing what she said would weigh on me for a while.

"And stop talking to Crystal." She let out with a stank face, "you said I'll like her when I meet her but right now it's not giving that. She's giving messy, she was trying to put you on with Miles and you know that. It was a set up and I don't appreciate it because I'm team Adrian for life."

I smiled, "for life?" She nodded, "until the wheels fall off baby." I laughed, "yeah," I started, "I want to be with him for life. He's so good for me. I don't want to sabotage it." Tessie gave me a knowing look, "then don't. He's the best man you've ever dated. Cause Lord knows you've dated some –"

I cut her off, "okay Tessie, we don't even have to do that." She laughed, "for real though Jae, keep y'all shit between the two of you. Even if it's on the internet, bring that shit to him first. Your communication with him has to be even more spot on now with this new fame and shit, it's always going to be some shit that they try to spin and twist. Know your man and talk to him. I will always be your voice of reason, but I want it to be after you've already spoken with him first."

Tessie was such a good damn friend, and I knew she was a good ass spouse too. "If we were lesbians I would've locked you down so fast." I let out as she laughed, "baby, who wouldn't?" I cracked up, "well speaking of, catch me up on you. How are things with Drake?"