Mirror Man

Blame Game!.

"Look Danny, don't take this on yourself, yes you upset him, yes he went out because of you, but the doctors said it would've happened anyway, there was a deep hidden injury, that's why his leg kept going dead, so...... don't beat yourself up over it, please don't" the man sighed as he took over the hug from his wife as she released the blonde to take a tissue from her bag.

"Is, is he....still in surgery?" Danny whispered, the awful realisation setting in that while he was once again feeling sorry for himself, Mark was speaking to him from a hospital bed, about to lose half his leg.

Breaking away and finding a bench outside the main doors to sit down, his own legs feeling heavy as lead at the news he'd just received, Danny slumped hard down onto it.

"Well it takes a while, although probably done by now" John looked at his watch, "but.......when he called he asked us to make sure you were okay first, the doctors will call us when he's in recovery" Rachel said softly and tiredly as she sat beside Danny.

"Danny, we're sorry about yesterday, we shouldn't have thrown you out like that, but.......you were just......", John sat down heavily.

"I messed with his head, I know I did, and I feel so.....shitty for being like that, I guess, I guess........I let the users win again" Danny mumbled as he hung his head, "what?" John looked over

"Just something Hina said once, when I first met Mark, I was determined not to get involved with him, because.......because I didn't feel I deserved him, I was so stuck on being.....a victim, she said, that I was ruining it for myself, because running away was easier, and every time I did that, the people who made me this way........won, they got what they wanted, they beat me down".

"She was right" Danny sighed looking up at the clear blue sky, wisps of cotton wool clouds racing along on the late afternoon breeze.

"I did do it because it was easier to just hide, never stand up for myself, take everything on the chin and deny myself happiness, because they, Dylan, John, Damon, Evan and Paul, Phil, whatever his name was, made me feel worthless, I didn't think I was worth anything anymore".

"It scared me, for someone to care so much was alien to me, I kept thinking, this is fake, this isn't real, that he would figure out that I was no good, but he didn't, he........he is what I always wanted, he.......I fell in love, properly, for the first time ever", he lowered his head.

Danny spoke clearly, no tears this time, just sadness that he hadn't been able to look into Marks eyes before he had to go into surgery, assure him that he would be okay, that he would be waiting, however long it took, tell him that......he loved him.

"But, there's one part of me that just keeps kicking me down", Danny shook his head, "and now........I missed out on telling Mark I love him......so damn much", a light sniffle reached his ears as he looked to his left to see Rachel, crying softly, holding up a hand as he tried to apologise for upsetting her.

"No, no Danny you didn't, it's just....... Mark said all he wanted to hear was your voice before he went into surgery, he was happy when you called, but.......then you passed out and he didn't get to finish what he was saying" John said with a huge sigh, "he was about to tell you about the surgery, but........ then he heard you collapse".

At that moment the shrill ringing of Johns phone broke the atmosphere, fumbling to get to it quickly the man rushed to answer it.

"Yes this is John Chandler.......yes, oh thank god, thank you......., um well we're at the hospital now as it happens, can we see him?" Dannys ears pricked up, Mark, he was out of surgery.

"Oh okay, yes that's fine, we'll grab a coffee, thank you, that's great" John grinned as he cut the call, "Mark, he's out and.......he's okay, he's coming round" he shook with excitement.

"Oh jeez thank goodness" Rachels voice sounded so much calmer than before as she massaged her neck, a smile creeping onto her face.

"Danny, will you come and see Mark?", John turned and faced the blonde as he sat with a slightly vacant smile on his face, "Danny?, helloooooo" John chuckled as Danny flushed pink.

"Are, are you sure?" Dannys eyes widened to the point he felt they would fall out, "of course Danny" Rachel soothed as the blonde turned to look at her, "he'd want you there".

"Come on, let's get a coffee, then you can take your tablets Danny, you need to get well too, can't have two invalids laying around the house" Rachel chuckled, "you've got to help me look after Mark when he gets home", she winked as they stood up, dusting themselves down, a pointless activity but it seemed to serve some purpose, although what it was they didn't know.

"Me?, but........." Dannys face froze, "but....I.....you asked me to leave" he said quietly, really not wanting them to say they remembered and yes he had to stay away.

"Danny, we were wrong, it was just......at the time we were pretty pissed with you, and with Mark to be honest, but.......we want you to come back, it didn't feel right without you", Rachel took Dannys hand in hers and squeezed it, "we brought your bag from the flat when the ambulance bought you in, we didn't know if you'd have to stay, just say if you want to go back to the flat, it's okay we'll understand".

"The doctor said you shouldn't be alone, you're pretty weak still" John pointed out, Danny nodded remembering that was what the doctor had said.

Reaching the coffee shop as they talked, ordering three large lattes and some pastries, John insisting that Danny eat something with his meds, they sat down, sipping their coffee in silence.

"I'd........ I'd like to come back ho......." Danny stopped himself from saying home, "to-to the house, I do miss that guest bed" he laughed a little.

"But, but Mark is going to be in a while isn't he?, will it be alright for me to stay when, when he's not there?" he looked between the older couple.

"It'll be fine Danny, just come home" Rachel took his hand, "just come home".

****

"Hi honey, how are you feeling?" Rachel spoke softly as the man in the bed sighed heavily, opening his eyes gradually, still sleepy from being under anesthesia again.

"Heeey mum" Mark sighed sleepily, "is...is my leg okay?" he said shakily.

Looking over at the bed seeing one full length leg and one half limb under the covers, Danny gulped hard, feeling that telltale sting of tears again.

He was standing back as he'd done when Mark was woken from his coma, except this time he wasn't going to leave the room, he was going to be there the very second Mark looked his way, if he did, he wouldn't blame him if he never looked at him again, but.......he had to take the bull by the horns once and for all, this time he wasn't backing down.

"Hey dad" the soft voice that he loved sent a shiver down his spine, "hey son, you doing okay?", Mark nodded slowly, "are you really okay?" John questioned as Mark lay a hand on his thigh, sliding it down feeling the stump where his knee once was.

"Yeah, yeah...... it's going to take a lot of getting used to, and Danny.........he, he, I don't know if he'll still......want me?!", he sniffed.

Suddenly jerking upwards, trying to sit up, Mark remembered the call he'd had before surgery, "how, how is Danny?, did you get to his flat?, what happened?, is he okay?" he rushed out the questions, a wild look in his eyes.

"Calm down Mark, here, come on sit back" John fussed as Danny moved to the side so he was in Marks direct sight as John lay Mark back against his pillows, readjusting his bedclothes, "you can ask him yourself".

The man smiled as he tipped his head towards Danny, the deep grey eyes of the man in the bed following his fathers nod, until his gaze settled......on Danny.

"Hi Mark" Danny said quietly with a weak smile, "I.....um.......I'm.....".

"Don't you dare say you're sorry again Danny Hunter, I'll garotte you with this damn drip tube" Mark grinned lazily, "no more blame game Danny, no more apologies, just get over here", beckoning to the blonde he winked and sighed, smiling as Danny walked slowly to the bed, perched up on the side and melted into his arms.