If You Let Me Know... [N.H.]

16. Move Together

"What? Why not?" Zayn asks with a confused face.

I sigh and patiently tell him everything that has been happening with Niall, from the day I arrived to London right up till yesterday night including the Daniel episode.

Of all the boys, Zayn knows Niall really well. Besides, he's been in long-term relationships and knows how important the way you deal with trust is.

"I love him much more than I did when we started dating" I say taking the last sip of the tea; "The last thing that crosses my mind right now is going with somebody else."

"Didn't you have this problem when you were in Spain?"

"No" I exclaim, "When I was in Spain it wasn't big of a deal for Niall. I guess it was because it didn't feel like a real thing, him being here and me being there. He felt he had nothing to worry about. It feels like he trusted me more when he didn't see what I was doing than now he is with me practically every day"

"What was it like for you?" Zayn wants to know.

"Tough" I admit, "Super tough, to be honest. I'm a bit of a jealous person and knowing how the media treats you, I knew I would have to work a lot on trust issues. And I did" I add, "now it looks like Niall has to do it too. That's why I don't want to go back to the flat" I explain; "I think Niall and I need to spend some time together. Get to know what the other's day-to-day is about"

"Sounds good" Zayn nods.

He waits while I have a shower and put back the costume I was wearing yesterday and I drive back to my flat.

Natalie is not there so I leave a brief note explaining the situation and promising a phone call as soon as I know she's home. Then I walk to my bedroom and change my clothes, starting to gather all the books and belongings I'm gonna need for my week at Niall's.

I hear a guitar coming from Dan's bedroom and I turn to Zayn, pulling a face.

"I thought he had class" I say walking to his door and knocking gently.

A couple of seconds later Dan opens the door and can't help a surprised face when he encounters me.

"What are you doing here?" I say, "I thought you were in class"

"I... I didn't feel like going" he admits looking away, and his expression changes when he sees Zayn.

"I'll give you a minute" Zayn says half-smiling; "I'll be at your room, Vicky"

I nod and thank him, walking into Dan's room. I need this conversation. I think we both do.

"Dan..."

"I wanna apologize for what happened yesterday" he cuts me, "I... I don't know what got to me"

I keep quiet and give him a sad look.

"You really love Niall, don't you?"

"I really do" I nod.

I need to get this all out once and for all.

"I really loved you too" I say, clearing my throat.

Dan looks up at me with a confused look in his dark eyes.

"I held on to you when you didn't give me any more reasons to hold on. I loved you more than I had ever loved anyone. Last year, I accepted the contract to get away from home, to get away from you. I couldn't see how you were moving on as if we had never happened while I was breaking down, having no one to rely on"