Resisting Rosaleen (18+)

41

I've never used 'I love you' romantically to a guy before. Nikolas was the first and even though the man was asleep when I did it, I'm still considering it. I'm just glad I finally came to terms with my emotions.

Things have changed after that night. Things have changed significantly.

For starters, I stopped going to his office during lunchtime so that I can spend the free hour with my friends who I'll miss greatly when we graduate.

Nick and I have started building up new habits. On weekdays, we'd meet at either the underground cafe or at the docks, depending if one of us is busy or both of us are free.

It's not just about sex anymore.

We haven't addressed that before, but I think we've realized it already by ourselves. At the cafe, all we'd do is talk and flirt.

Except for that one time he fingered me under the table.

Finals start on Monday and despite me insisting that I can meet with him and study afterwards, he still refused to see each other this week, saying that I should focus on my studies. But that didn't stop us from calling each other.

Another thing for us was meeting at a motel during Saturdays. Yes, I know, it's typical and screams infidelity but it was the best setup for us. I could get away with it by saying I was at a friend's house and no one in any of our circles would go there, let alone near the area. It works.

I look forward to Saturdays and I know he does too even if he doesn't tell me directly.

Before that, I've only been to a motel once all my life. It was when Dani and I got too wasted at a party. We couldn't go to our houses nor to Vik's because the adults would find out.

A hotel would be nicer or even a flat. We could afford it. Thing is, all the wealthy people and all the owners know each other. We'll get caught one way or another. A cheap inn, however? I doubt men in suits and their high-maintenance housewives can come near these places.

He and Bianca haven't been the same since either. Nikolas was warming up more and more with the idea of divorce, but the man needed time so I said I'd give it to him. Bianca's been noticing his gradual distancing, but after the woman revealed her sick side on prom night, Nikolas has been handling their arguments well.

It's as if their fight about Nick's alcohol addiction was the end of the line—he doesn't care much about any conflict past that.

I was informed that Bianca tried to apologize for her insensitive outburst and Nick accepted so the issue wouldn't go on any longer. I was also informed that Bianca had the decency to willingly talk to Benjamin about Nikolas, telling the therapist that she wants to try to understand. At least she could've been worse.

They still celebrated their anniversary on the Sunday two weeks after prom, but ended the night arguing.

Today marks Nikolas's fifth week of sobriety, a short duration some people but for us, it's a big deal.

It's also Saturday which meant that I'll be meeting Nick. It took me a lot of convincing to get him to go because like I said: the man wanted me to study. Right after finals, exactly on Friday night would be graduation celebration.

I was at the usual cafe with my GA friends and I have made the decision to let Jeric know about me and Nick.

Our table was cluttered with textbooks and reviewers—the aftermath of a group study. I'm pretty lucky to have such academically intellectual beings as my friends. Sean's a fucking genius at math and Jeric's a boss in science. Then there's Jie who's great with words, explaining Ms. Xi's undiscussed topics.