Resisting Rosaleen (18+)

49

The first thing I did when Nikolas left? I played a trap playlist on Spotify.

If my first day at a clean slate is tomorrow, then I don't want puffy eyes and bags underneath. I didn't wanna seem numb but I did want to be in control.

It's painful that I've lost him, yes, but I feel like I've been granted the ability to put a cork in the hole that spills such negative emotions. When the door closed faintly, Nick thinking I had fallen asleep, I got to my feet and threw on some sweats and a shirt. The next thing I did as Tory Lanez sang in the background was wash my face. I didn't bother examining myself in the mirror—I already knew what I looked like: bad.

I tied my hair into a bun and checked my phone which I found lying on the floor near a plant. There were texts from Aiden who I abandoned earlier

'Where are you?' the first one said, followed by a 'principal's missing too. nvm.'

I left my phone charging on the nightstand and opted for a trip downstairs. I was sure that Nikolas already left. I would wish that he won't drink but I already knew that he won't. Because if he does, then I should be able to stop myself from going to him. I doubt that I can.

I locked my room behind me and called for the elevator. Guests have either left already or were in the process of doing so. The hallways are quiet and the only sound I could hear was the music from the function room across the courtyard down a small stone pathway.

As I rode down the elevator, the memory from earlier was clear and vivid; me stepping out, me seeing Nikolas, us tumbling into my room, and us saying our goodbyes after a session on my bed.

My finger hit the button for the ground floor. I had no specific place in mind. All I knew was that I needed air. A lot of it.

I cursed myself for not bringing a jacket or wearing a sweater instead. The night was cold. It's either that or I'm just feeling really alone. I hugged myself for a bit more comfort.

The faint tug at my stomach informed me that the elevator started moving. Seconds later, it came to a stop. The lobby had a number of people, some of them guests from the night's event. Aside from the misters and misses in suits and gowns, my eyes found a family of three: a father, a mother, and a toddler.

It isn't difficult to guess what the little child in the father's arms reminded me of. I'll give you one guess.

Ding, ding, ding, you're right.

Sighing, I brought my attention elsewhere. I decided to go to the fourth building which housed a bar, a pool, and a hut in its backyard. It was quieter in the fourth extension, probably because it's further.

A fit scenario for my mood would be being on the rooftop of a skyscraper, overlooking the city, and wondering about the many stories of the millions of people living around me. I'd think of their realities just so I can forget about my own. My phone shall be nowhere near me so there'll be no distractions. Oddly specific but that's how I wanted to be.

I took my slippers off and sat on the edge of the kiddie pool. Then, I pulled my pants up to my knees and plunged a fraction of my legs into the cold water.

I was suddenly reminded by my time with Nikolas. I can only hope to look back at it one day and laugh at how dramatic we were. I wish the same for him.

The pool's water felt cool against my fingers when I decided to ripple the surface, making the reflection of Rosaleen Martin look wavy. I did it again and again absentmindedly, appreciating the contrasting temperature of air and water.

The moon's been a good friend these past few weeks so I looked up to say hi. It was shining bright again, though I'd be more surprised if it weren't. When I was a child, I always thought that it was following me.