Erratic // Thomas+Female OC & Newt+Male OC

Chapter Seventy : Wake Up

THE SAFE HAVEN

DAY 35 AFTER WICKED FELL

14.26 HOURS

Buck

   This feeling is weird. Sleeping is a weird phenomenon to me. It's like sitting in a perpetual darkness that won't wash away. But in a way, I liked it. In fact, I loved it, I loved sleeping because of how quiet it was. I don't remember my mind ever been so quiet, even before I was infected with the Flare. It was so peaceful and so nice that I didn't really want to wake up.

   I sat criss cross on the floor, everything around me dark and silent, nothing to bother me, nothing to scare or hurt me. I really don't want to wake up. And then my father was sitting across from me. He came out of nowhere, appearing out of thin air with a smile across his face. I missed him, and I've never allowed myself to sleep long enough to see anything in my dreams, much less see him. The average amount of sleep I would get in a week would be four to five hours.

   "What are you doing?" My father signed to me and I sighed heavily.

   "Just sitting." I told him but he shook his head.

   "No." He signed. "What are you doing here."

   I knew what he meant, but I thought that if I tried to play dumb then maybe he wouldn't ask me again. If I could stay in this dream world with him forever, then maybe it wouldn't be so bad. I tried to fight, I did, and I wanted to live, but that was before I was here. That was before how good it felt to permanently live in a world without noise and chaos. I know that was wrong and selfish, but I liked this too much to want to give it up.

   "I don't want to go back." I signed to him but he laughed and shot me this smile I remembered him showing off to me every time he caught me in a lie.

  "Yes you do." He told me matter-of-factly. "You do and you know it."

   "No, I like it here."

   "No you don't."

   "Yes I-" I tried but my father took my hands in his and pressed them tightly together.

   "What are you afraid of Little Soldier?" He asked me, his eyes piercing my soul.

   I wanted to tell him that I am not afraid of anything. I wanted to tell him that after everything I have been through, there isn't a single thing I'm afraid of. But I guess that would be a lie and he would know it. I was always a good liar, I mean, I fooled WICKED for years into thinking I was on their side when I was really their most wanted assassin. But my father was not WICKED, he was my father, the man who raised me, he knew everything about me. He would know if I lied.

I wish I wasn't afraid of anything.

But I don't think that's possible.

   "I'm afraid that when I wake up..." I told him. "Everything will be different."

   "Everything will be." My father told me which didn't ease me. "But that's the way things are."

   "But Dad..."

   "Yes?"

   "I've spent so long being the Scorch Reaper." I told him, meeting his eyes. "I don't think I know how to be anything else."

   "Now that's the beauty of life Fray." He told me with a soft smile. "You aren't supposed to know how to live, you just have to do it."