𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋 || 𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙘𝙮 𝙟𝙖𝙘𝙠𝙨𝙤𝙣¹

032

(chapter xxxii - rock bottom)

GRIEF WAS NOT a foreign feeling to Selene.

Being a demigod, she was bound to always lose things, everyone was — items that may mean a lot, or, losing memories of someone you so desperately wanted to remember.

The thing that demigods lose the most though, always — is people. Whether it be a family member, a close friend, a sibling...a partner. That's why you can never get too close, too attached — because before you can blink, they get swept away from you, and the world goes numb.

And you — you watch their shroud burn up into the sky, memories burning with it. Laughter, tears, awkward glances, handshakes. It's gone, the moment they are. There's no second chances, no room for mistakes.

You fuck up, and people you're used to seeing are gone for good.

And all that's left — is yourself.

Or that's at least what it felt like to her. Sitting in the corner of her cabin, her empty, lonely cabin, that was normally her safe place, but what right now felt like a prison that she was sentenced to life in.

Thema and Annabeth checked up on her more than they have probably blinked today, but she would only respond with glances and nods. Her eye-bags had grown dominant on her face, her cheekbones visible, and if her mother saw her right now, she'd probably tell her to stop wallowing in pity over a boy.

Percy...

Selene couldn't fall asleep because of the nightmares. But staying awake felt like a nightmare in itself. Staying in her cabin, the only thought on her mind being him. Perseus Jackson. Was he alive? Could he, by some miracle, be alive? If...if he wasn't, what did he think about, in his final moments? Did he really like her in the way he said he did? Did she like him in that way too?

'I hope he's alive. Please, dear gods, be alive.'

Her stomach twisted just thinking about it. Burning his shroud into the sky for good...the end of it all. The end of Percy Jackson — the final show. People would be solemn for a day or two, then start gradually moving on with their lives. Forgetting him.

Percy Jackson. Her Barnacle Boy.

Selene felt tears slip down her face. She hurriedly tried to wipe them, but they just kept coming. She quietly started to sob, her form shaking as she hid her head in her knees.

"He's gone, isn't he?" She asked out loud. Her voice cracked with desperation. "He's dead?"

The deafening silence was all that she needed.

"My fa—fault.." She shook her head — looking up at the ceiling — her face littered with tears. "This is all my fault! Why did you...why you! Why do you get to just leave!? After — after everything...you had a future, a prophecy, a life! So why..." She looked down at floor, her eyes screwing shut.

"Why did it have to be you? I —"

'Because that is the way that some things must go.' A new voice filled her head — one that didn't come from her own brain full of insecurities.