"Why do you care huh? why come after me? why drag me away from everyone else? are you just trying to prove your point or is it this dangerous game you seem to be playing because it's not working" I yelled back.
His expression only darkened, his eye...
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"Hey" he said looking down at me I was too tired to argue or to run. I looked up at him and gave him a nice nod before returning looking back up at the stars. Maybe if I gave him the silent treatment too, he would leave. "I'm sorry about everything that happened" he whispered his voice so gentle and full of remorse. I looked back up to him I hadn't properly seen him since the day I found out I broke it off over the phone and banned him from ever talking to me again.
I never really got closure, but I felt like I didn't really need it with him. Yes, he was my first everything and that normally means a lot to people but to me looking back on it I didn't really enjoy it. I did it more for him than myself and I think I was in a trance for the whole of our relationship, my mother just died, and I went to him for comfort, and he gave it to me but I don't really remember any happy moments we shared I was completely in love.
"I know you are; I think it's probably for the best that we did split up" I replied looking back out to the marsh I watched as the midnight danced over the waves twinkling and shimmering away. "I knew you weren't in love with me like I was in love with you" he added I felt something tight in my stomach. "If you were in love with me, why did you do that? You don't do that to someone you love Noel" I whispered.
"I know but this is what I was trying to say to you the other night, I did what I did and I regret that I think it was the amount of coke that Rafe gave me and when he enticed me and sleeping with that girl and told me not to worry about you I completely forgot-" he carried on speaking but I completely zoned out white noise filled my hearing and my ears started ringing, Rafe did what? He enticed a boy who has never done drugs in his life to do them and to cheat?!
My head snap back into play at the end of Noah's sentence. "-he also made me see that you didn't love me" I turned to face and completely feeling the rage burning under my skin and bubbling up. "How did he make you see that?" I said trying to sound not as bitter as I was feeling. Yes, I was relieved when the relationship was over and I was even more relieved that he was the one that caused it to finish but it's the principle of Rafe meddling in my life even before I knew he was making it his mission to make it a living hell.
"Well he just laid it all out for me, you weren't really present for a lot of things that we did your mind was always somewhere else, and he proved his point one day when we all went out for ice cream you aren't really speaking much you were just listening and watching the conversation and as soon as Rafe enticed you into an argument I saw your eyes light up. He's not a good guy Izzy, I was trying to warn you the other night when I heard you talking but he's a scary guy when he wants to be and you're such a good girl that deserves someone better" he spoke shoving his hands in his pockets looking slightly embarrassed at what he had just revealed.
But I felt my eyes darting into the back of my mind trying to figure out exactly how this all happened right under my nose. I remember that day at the ice cream shop and I remember not really wanting to speak to anyone I was tired but as soon as Rafe started that argument I felt alive. He was the only one that could really pull me out of my own mind and I hated that he could do that. But he did prove his point I was never present at the end, the only time that I ever was: Rafe was always there and that drove me nuts.
