PANIC ROOM • KENJI KON

XXII. Japan Is Attacking

Chapter Twenty Two:  Japan Is Attacking

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It had been a couple days since the campers had finished building their camp, and Eva and Kenji had retrieved supplies from the broken Camp Cretaceous. Eva had been refusing to speak to Kenji all together, and had been effectively avoiding him for the past three days, except when she was dealing food out at meals.

Even then, she gave him his rations without a word.

Even when he tried to talk to her— and believe her, he tried— she ignored him in full. Once, he cornered her heading into the latrines, and Eva threatened to piss on his foot. One evening when the others gathered around the fire Eva had made, Eva was up top of their camp, grabbing her green comforter when Kenji stopped her, begging to talk. She climbed off the side of the structure to avoid talking to him. Another, he got her alone while she was collecting berries, and instead of listening to him, she wandered deeper into the jungle.

It wasn't that she was necessarily mad about what he said. She was, at first. Of course she was. But she was more mad how true his words stung, like ice on salt.

The only person you care about is yourself.

Every time they were in danger, the only person Eva thought about was herself. The only person's physical health she cared for was herself. Every dangerous situation they found themselves in, Eva was quick to protect herself, and only herself. On the rare occasion she had saved Brooklynn from the Indominus, and Yaz from Toro, Eva did not have a good track record. Too many times her and her... the campers had run from dinosaurs, Eva was always at the front of the group, rescuing herself first.

But that was part of the problem, wasn't it? She couldn't even see these other people— people she had been surviving with for weeks— as anything more than acquaintances. And why was that? Why was she so scared to admit she finally had more friends than she could count? How had she connected so quickly with four people when she spent months becoming friends with Kai, or Jenny? Maybe it was because the last person she became friends with within a day was the very person she spited. Maybe it was because she was terrified of losing another friend.

Eva squeezed her eyes shut, pulling her green comforter tighter around her face. She was buried underneath, the heat of the jungle mixed with the warmth of the comforter overheated her, but she didn't care. Her eyes stung as tears slipped down her cheeks, staining her pillow case.

How could she hate someone she once cared for deeply? How could she hate her closest friend?

He turned on you, the voice in her head told her, for the millionth time. He stood by their side, and he laughed. He doesn't deserve your mercy. He doesn't deserve kindness for all the ruckus he created in your life.

But couldn't she forgive him for something that, the longer Eva thought about it, the more silly it seemed? Why was she caring about Rutherford life so much? For money? ... Why would she still rather be on Isla Nublar, then back home? What was wrong with her?

"Eva? Eva?!"

The blonde squeezed her eyes shut again. Why was she even crying in the first place? She had no reason to cry. It was all in her head. It was all in her head.

"Eva?!" Bubblegum's voice screeched, entering Eva's eardrums once more.

Eva wiped her eyes on the inside of her comforter, then pulled it off, crawling to her feet. She slipped her shoes on as Brooklynn continued to yell.