PANIC ROOM • KENJI KON

BONUS CHAPTER 2.1

"It's Not A No!"

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The second time Eva Rocker was in California, fireworks were exploding, lights were infinitely twinkling, butterflies were forever fluttering around an enclosed space in her chest. Well, not really. Eva had the window of the car down, and any fireworks that were exploding sounded vaguely like gunshots, and were probably illegal with California's constant drought situation. But she liked the warm air after sitting on a freezing cold plane for eight hours, wishing she had worn warmer clothes like she did six months ago.

This time, instead of taking an Uber from the airport to the Bowman Residence, Eva worked out her trip with Jacqueline, and she was meant to pick Eva up from the airport. Imagine Eva's surprise when instead of seeing the mother's eyes searching for her, it was Kenji waiting by the baggage claim, searching for her instead. Eva completely tackled him to the ground, their bodies smacking the tiles in a flare of pain, but neither seemed to mind.

After December passed, after they found themselves together again in LaGuardia when Kenji was sweating about missing his flight and Eva was terrified of California ending and having to prepare for a second semester of school, they had spent days texting one another about anything and everything in between. They FaceTimed once a week, and then twice, and then they were talking almost every day and Eva's grades were beginning to slip and she questioned what she was doing with her life. Everything about her life she questioned, everything except Kenji.

They went six months without seeing one another in person, and it was killing them both, but maybe Eva more so. Eva was absolutely wrecked; she couldn't spontaneously get on a plane and visit Kenji. It wasn't that she didn't have the money or the time— she feared she was going to cancel her round trip and end up staying in San Francisco, which meant never returning to New York, which meant failing out of school, which meant— well, what are you supposed to do with your life if you don't have a real salaried job and you're not in college?

Eva was thinking about travelling the world and staying clear of South America and anywhere else that housed a jungle. But then, if she travelled, she would be even further from Kenji, and she wasn't sure she could handle that, either.

Believe me, seeing Kenji was fabulous. It was miraculous. It was changing her life-ous. Kenji was the one thing keeping her alive, and seeing him again once summer began gave her the motivation to finish her semester. She just had no idea what was going on in her life, and she didn't know how to figure it out. Before Isla Nublar, she wanted to be an elementary school teacher. Now she wanted to live in a cottage in the woods completely cut off from society. She wanted to travel the world. She wanted to live in a beach house and learn to surf and eat ice cream every day from a little old school parlor on the corner. She wanted to go to medical school, she wanted to be a high school librarian, she wanted to be a housekeeper. She wanted to stay at home all day watching Gilmore Girls reruns eating cold pizza and Hershey kisses wishing she had someone she loved coming home to her. She was an adult, and she had absolutely no idea what she was doing with her life.

But then finals week came and passed and the semester ended, and Eva found herself texting Jacqueline and suddenly she was in California, seeing her boyfriend, her heart bursting into love and pain and all she wanted to do was to kiss his soft lips and stay in his arms forever.

She looked from the window, passing dozens of colorful houses to her boyfriend, who's knuckles were turned white with how tightly they gripped the steering wheel. They eased down a hill, the breaks slowing them down considerably. Someone behind them beeped their horn, and Kenji huffed, glancing back in the mirror before continuing to drive slowly.