PANIC ROOM • KENJI KON

BONUS CHAPTER 1.3

" ¿Dónde está la biblioteca?"

~~~

"You're telling me you've never seen The Velocipastor?" Eva cackled. She shifted her weight forwards so she could slide her feet beneath her bottom on the couch.

"No?" Darius said, eyebrows scrunched together. "Do I actually want to, though?"

He had this look, fear crossed with confusion. Eva recognized it, having felt it herself all those nights she woke up and thought she was back on Isla Nublar. Darius probably thought The Velocipastor was a real, dinosaur-filled movie.

"Depends. Have you ever seen Sharknado?"

"Oh, so it's like Sharknado?"

"No, it's so much worse."

He visibly relaxed. "So then, why do I want to watch it?"

"Because it's so terrible it's actually funny."

"All right, but what streaming service is it on?"

"Amazon, with ads."

Darius tossed her the remote. "All you, Eva."

~~~

Doug, the velocipastor, stumbled through the woods.

The camera panned to three ninjas, who immediately began discussing their plan of attack against the "dragon warrior" aka, Doug.

The third ninja spaced out, having an end of life crisis about his would-be wife as he suspected the dragon warrior would kill him.

"Okay boys, no one lives forever."

They all drew the swords and pounced.

Flashes of red, an animatronic velociraptor arm, and the ninja's almost-wife passed the screen. And then the screen flipped, showing a woman biting into a Bueno chocolate bar.

"No! Why would they put an ad right there!" Darius shouted.

Eva cackled in laughter, leaning back against the arm of the couch. She looked to Darius, who was silently fuming as an ad began playing.

"Doesn't Doug look like John Mulaney crossed with Grant Gustin? But somehow he's ugly and hot at the same time."

"Who?"

"Oh my god," Eva said, already opening her phone to IMDb.

"What are you watching?"

Both Darius and Eva jumped, gasping as they looked over their shoulders at the woman who was definitely Darius's mom.

She was wearing mom jeans, a white fitted t-shirt, and converse. She had slick brown hair cut short and cropped, and a warm smile on her face as she made eye contact with Eva.

"Who's this? You know you're not allowed girls in the house when I'm not home. And Darius, what about, y'know, Brooklynn?" She whispered her name, as if it were taboo.

"What about her?" Darius said, clueless.

Eva quickly put two and two together, and jumped in. "Actually, I'm, I'm Eva."

The woman raised her eyebrows, her warm smile quickly diminishing. "Evangeline, Eva?"

"Actually, only Kenji can call me that."