Ayan has just moved to a flat to start to live on his own and show his mother that he can move on from his uncle's death but a few days later he's been hearing loud noises from the opposite room. Glass breaking, fighting, arguing and all of the soun...
"... and when she finally let go of her prisoner... wahh... she managed to stand up on her two feet thanks to the help she's got from others... the end." I was yawning as I was reading the Crazy Love book for a whole night but then I heard my alarm clock. Fuck... I really don't want to go to school today... I'll call Akk to cover up for me and stay in bed for a little longer.
"Akk? I just... wahh... wanted to ask for a favor."
"Don't tell me that you were drinking for a whole night and now are unable to go to school." With the pills I take, it'd be really unreasonable to drink so often.
"Yeah, something like that... just excuse me to Teacher Waree that I've been sick."
"You are so lucky I don't have time anymore, try to come tomorrow!" I hung up so I could sleep again and woke up two hours later.
Suddenly I heard some voices coming from the corridor so I went to check it out even before making coffee.
I saw a stranger with a tool bag on his shoulder talking to Alan. It must be the one I called to fix his door.
"Hello, sir, you must be here because of the door."
"And you are?" I raised my eyebrow.
"Don't you recognize my voice?" My ego is decreasing when others keep forgetting about me.
"Look, I've got a lot of calls per day." I rolled my eyes.
"Ayan, that's fine, I'll deal with it." Alan sharply looked at me.
"Sir, will you need help with something?"
"Well, a coffee would be nice." Of course, instead of a tip.
"I'll do it, Alan, you sit down and don't do anything."
"Hey! Who are you to boss me around -?" I was deadly seriously with the look I gave him and he did as I said as if I intimidated him. Fuck, I can't be myself around him for now.
Anyways, I made coffee for all of us. It was also an excuse to go inside Alan's apartment.
"Alan... I made you coffee as well." He was just stroking his hand like a doctor and was looking in front of himself.
"Oi... relax a little..." I sat down next to him and put my hand on his shoulder but he moved so I couldn't touch him.
"I get it. Wen thinks there is something between us so you don't like me around yourself."
"When you know it then why do you still come?" He crossed his hands. I took a deep breath and kept telling myself to stay calm and talk nicely to him.
"Tell me, is your life better after I invaded your life or was it better without me and I mean your life after break-up."
"I don't have to tell you anything." I felt like I was not moving anywhere but there was no way I could take him to a therapist... therapist! That's it! They could help me with my behavior around him so I would know what can hurt him and what can help.
"All right, I'm still a stranger for you so I understand..." He looked at me more warmly now.
"No... you took me to the hospital and gave me the book... I just want you to know that you can't cross the line."
"Cross the line like... touching you?" He nodded. Alright, at least I know what makes him uncomfortable.
"Is that all?" He clenched his fists.
"And also... please don't raise your voice at me, I can hear you well." He looked away when he said it. I think... he was trying to tell Wen this many times but got scared.
"I know I shouldn't... I'm sorry for that. Please don't take it personally. My kind of behavior... well, I get mad when I have different opinion than others. Akk shouts at me for that too."
"Akk?"
"Yeah, we are classmates but I keep getting into trouble so he scolds me for that. Sometimes I'm jealous of his relationship with Chon."
"Me too..." I heard a slight whisper but then he wiped his eyes just when he took his glasses off.
"Hey, you look really great without glasses but your eyes are swollen." I saw a little smile on his face which quickly faded away.
"Did he... tell you this in those past months? That you are really attractive?" He shook his head and couldn't hold his tears anymore.
"I wish I could hug you..." I muttered but then I felt his hands wrapped around my neck and he cried loudly into my T-shirt. I didn't move and let him release the anxiety he was holding back for so long.
"What have I done wrong?!" He shouted and I always answered him.
"Nothing, Alan, you are definitely not the one who did something wrong."
"I'm scared I won't love anyone anymore!"
"It takes time... you have to stay patient to try to love again. You have to start loving yourself before that."
"Why... why did he leave me?!"
"Because he's a fool." I said and turned to him but our faces were so close that my heart was beating faster out of sudden.
"I... I..." He turned away and me too. Fuck! I'd kiss him for sure if I didn't have to hold back! How much I'd like to tell him that there's someone caring for him? That there's someone who likes him for the way he is? That there's someone who'd never leave him?
We were stuck in this awkward atmosphere before the repairman called me that he's done.
"Oh, you are fast."
"Yeah but I had to change the door lock. It'll cost more because of that but here are your keys." He gave me two of them. I grabbed it and then went to my room for my wallet but when I came back, I saw Alan already taking care of it. That guy left and I approached him.
"I would pay for that... it was my fault."
"No, you paid for my book so this is right. I'm a working adult, you are still a student." I felt like he was setting boundaries every time he mentioned our age gap but I did not care about it at all.
"Oh, he gave me two keys but I guess you want both of them." He smirked.
"Well, I still have an injured wrist so it'd be helpful if you came on your own sometimes." Then he closed his door and I stood there speechless. Woah... this is like the biggest progress I made! I shut my door and jumped into my bed with the biggest smile on my face. And then I screamed into my pillow like some fangirl.
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