Alan's POV
When I asked Ayan to stay outside, I felt really bad but I'm not prepared to tell him yet... I'm afraid of his reaction and also... that he wouldn't allow me to do what I'm about to commit.
"So Alan... do you have anything to share with me which includes Ayan?"
"I... my ex-boyfriend... abused me and Ayan knows it..."
"I see, you are very strong though. It usually takes years till the victim admits it. That he or she's been abused." I bowed down my head.
"It would take longer... if Ayan didn't help me. I just couldn't accept that HE doesn't like me anymore." She wrote something down.
"I understand you and keep in mind that you are not the only one... a lot of my clients fight with their traumatic childhood where their father wasn't nice to them." I nodded and was quite relieved... I don't have to be ashamed of it. It's so hard...
"Ayan helped me... not to hate myself for it and made sure that I felt worthy. I don't know if I can say it..."
"You can say anything here. No one will judge you for who you are, you are safe." She assured me with a smile and when I saw her badge with bisexual flag... I felt like I could tell her my current feelings.
"When Ayan confessed his love to me... and made me feel loved, I felt so happy... thanks to him I could realize... that HE doesn't love me as much as I thought... that he won't change and won't love me again the same way... and then he did... he did..." I was taking deep breaths and she handed me a squishing ball. It helped me get the frustration, which I felt in my hands, out.
"... he almost raped me." When I said it, my eyes welled up and tears already streamed from my eyes. I didn't get over it... I didn't get over the pain.
"Take these." She handed me napkins and let me cry. I cried out loud but still held back so Ayan wouldn't hear me... I don't want to make him worried anymore...
After ten minutes, I finally calmed down and I had to admit that crying really helped me.
"What I wanted to tell you... I sued my ex for it. I reported it and one day ago I got a call from the police station. They called me... that he was finally sent to prison and asked me to come... he doesn't want to admit anything and so they need my help... they think that he'll confess everything if he sees me and I know Ayan would be against it."
"Why do you think so?"
"Because he... Ayan saw it all. He saw my bruises, my injuries and he saw me... when I was about to be raped. He knows how hurt I was and I am... he wouldn't want me to go through the trauma again..."
"I see... I'm sure that it's not easy for Ayan as well but maybe his company would help you to withstand the situation."
"I... already called someone else. I don't want Ayan to know." She smiled.
"It's your decision and no one has the right to judge you for it. If you think it's right, do it. But eventually... you should tell him. After what he went through, he also deserves to know." I gulped. If he finds out... will he be mad? Will he want to stay with me? I kept thinking about it even when we were leaving but I didn't count with Ayan to be so mad. I definitely need to tell him... just later when it'll be over.
_______________________________
On Thursday after I finished my work, I met up with the one I mentioned.
"Hello, Khun Alan."
"I won't say it's nice to meet you, Khun Jim." He looked at me nervously and I frowned at him.
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