Ayan's POV
My knees were shaking in the waiting room... I didn't expect I'd have the same dream again even after I've been cuddling Alan for the whole night.
"You are pale... did you even sleep at night?"
"I... fell asleep after you but I woke up at midnight again. I didn't want to wake you up so I was holding my screams back." Alan wrapped his hand around my neck and pulled me closer.
"It was naive to think sex could solve it... that's why we are here today." I smiled.
"Thanks for taking a day off... at least you'll make sure I won't lie and try to hide the facts."
"I'm not here for that and you know it. Tell her what you can tell, I'll stay quiet." I smirked and nodded but then it was finally my turn.
Miss Ana invited us in but Alan stayed sitting on a chair in the corner to let us have a private conversation.
"I see you've got a support today, Ayan. May I offer you something?"
"Just water..." I intertwined my fingers and refused to look into her eyes. She nodded and left for a while. I turned around to make sure he was still there and he smiled at me to calm me down. When she came back, I quickly turned around.
"If you want, he can come closer to us."
"No... I promised I'd do it myself."
"And? How are you feeling right now? If the distance makes you feel anxious, it'll be better if he comes here." I sighed and agreed. In the end, she always wants her clients to feel relaxed and I was unable of it currently.
She gave Al a sign to come to us and he sat down on the armchair next to me.
"Are you okay?" He whispered and I grabbed his hand without breaking my eye contact with the therapist.
"You know what? Let's do the method I used when Alan came first here. I'll talk to him and you'll join us when you feel like it." I nodded and rested my back. Then I was just listening to their conversation.
"So... even though we've got a different date for our session, I'd like to ask you about your daily life. Tell me if there's anything that changed."
"Honestly... I feel like I returned back in time. I mean to the time when I didn't feel unwell yet and it's all thanks to Ayan." He smiled at me which made me feel better.
"That's really nice to hear, Ayan must have been your biggest supporter but don't forget to give yourself a credit as well. When there's a will, there's a way and I'm really proud of you. Is there anything else you'd like to tell me?"
"Well, besides Ayan, I'm spending more time with my colleagues. Some of them still don't like to have a person like me in their team but I've got a support at my work as well so I don't feel stressed. The only thing stressing me now..." He looked at me but didn't want to talk about it without my permission. I gulped.
"It's me... I don't know what happened but my posttraumatic syndrome returned a few days ago and I didn't sleep well since then... I've also been more fixated on Alan. Whenever I don't see him close to me, I feel a big pressure in my chest... the feeling of never seeing him again and in my nightmares... he's taking his own life away..." I couldn't hide my tears now.
"Thank you for telling me... it's understandable that you are scared even though he's so close to you after your previous experience. HE's always been there for you as well, right? And now you are feeling insecure..." I widely opened my eyes and started to take long deep breaths.
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The Age of Broken Hearts | AlanxAyan l FirstKhaotung AU fanfiction
FanfictionAyan has just moved to a flat to start to live on his own and show his mother that he can move on from his uncle's death but a few days later he's been hearing loud noises from the opposite room. Glass breaking, fighting, arguing and all of the soun...
