Something and 𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗𝖞𝖙𝖍𝖎𝖓𝖌

𝓢1: 𝓒𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓽𝓮𝓻 14

His POV

I never expected my favorite place to be my worst nightmare. Beach was the only place where I could calm myself down after a shitty day. I was very angry at Anushka for turning my comfort place into a place where I would get nightmares. I know it was childish of me to act like I don't remember her name but I don't know what made me more angry, her goodbye, her kiss or her breaking off all contacts. I don't know what is affecting my life so much?

She kissed me, I can't believe I returned her kiss. I was afraid to let her go because I knew once I let her go, she would run away. She did exactly that, she ran away and did not look in my direction ever after that. She whispered Goodbye against my lips, it directly pierced through my heart but my stubborn self did not want to admit that I felt something for her because I did not love that girl, I didn't not even have feelings for her and when I got the answers to my questions, I did not like the goodbye that followed. She didn't look me in my eyes after that, hell she couldn't even look in my direction. I saw her laugh and smile going away. I saw her going down the road of depression and heartbreak. Even after so much despair, I couldn't bring myself to fall for her or have feelings for her because it was not something my stubborn heart or mind approved of. I felt bad and angry that's it. She shouldn't have left the way she did. She shouldn't have run away like she did.

I was doing the thing, I never thought I would as a person. I was writing her a letter.

Dear Akshu,

I don't know what to write or from where should I start the letter from, so I will start with a general thought that has not left my mind even after so many months. Why did you choose me when there were so many others? Why did you become my friend and stayed even though it was hurting you? Why did you confess your feelings only to say goodbye? Why did you leave so abruptly? Why am I affected the way I am in your absence?

I really don't know what I feel for you and maybe now I will never know. I surely know that I miss your silly jokes, your questioning eyes, your laugh, your smile, your stubborn attitude, your never ending life advice which you so gracefully presented me with, your understanding and your patience towards me. I miss nothing and everything about you. It has become difficult to visit places where we had created memories. I will miss you and I will remember you even though you are trying your hardest to forget me. 

I can't admit that I love you to your face but I will write to you that I have fallen in love with you and it was not something I could deny anymore. I want you and I need you but I really can't ask you for it. Eventually I will return to you and I am asking you to wait for me. I will become a better Horsey for you, one who can take responsibility for you, one who will never walk away from you, one who will not put you in despair and crumble your feelings like it meant nothing. I will return to you and I will become better for you. 

Love Horsey.

I wrote the letter for her but never had the guts to send it to her so I kept the letter and all my memories of her in my diary and decided to move on from the one relationship I couldn't name. I decided to forget all about her and chase my dream. I never really forgot her also I was placed at a big event management firm and was appointed as an Event manager there. The position I was placed at was the lowest but I had to rise up and become the biggest event manager of India. I will complete my dreams and follow my passion.

I will never let my feelings cloud my judgement. Even my friends were on the way to pursue their dreams and we had made a pact that we would meet at least once a year, even with the busy schedule. We did meet every year after our graduation. I think Jahnvi leaving me had left a huge hole in my heart which could not be filled even after trying the hardest. I couldn't forget Anushka and every little thing she did but this time around I didn't have any guts to admit my feelings for her.

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End of Season 1

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