call it what you want | Taylor Swift X Travis Kelce

Chapter 40

Months had passed since I had broken it to travis's that I couldn't give him what he wanted. We hadn't spoken about it and I don't know if that was a good thing or not.

I closed my eyes and settled against his chest, enveloped in the comfort of our shared warmth. The quiet hum of the morning filled the room, a serene prelude to our upcoming journey to Tokyo. It marked the final day of tranquility before our departure.

Travis hadn't made it to the Super Bowl, and as a result, he was joining me in Japan. The prospect of traveling together for an extended period during the tour was both thrilling and novel. Our plans extended until June, coinciding with his return to intensive training for the upcoming season.

"Good morning," his voice, husky with sleep, greeted me, pulling me back from my thoughts. The faint hint of morning light painted the room, casting soft shadows around us.

"Morning," I replied, nestling closer to him, reveling in the reassuring embrace.

He reached for his phone, stealing a quick glance at the time before pulling me closer with his other arm. "We can stay in bed for a few more minutes, but we've got to get going in a few hours. You know how long you take to get ready," he teased, planting a tender kiss atop my head.

We indulged in those moments, savoring the soft embrace of the sheets and the warmth between us. He whispered words of affection, each one tugging at my heartstrings, making me wish time could stand still.

"You're incredible, Tay. I'm the luckiest," his words, a gentle caress against my ear, elicited a stirring in my soul. I wriggled closer to him, yearning to prolong our morning cocoon.

"I wish we could just stay here," I murmured, knowing that our snug sanctuary would soon yield to the demands of the day.

"I know, but we've got the whole day together," his reassurance came in the form of a tender kiss atop my head.

Travling was the worst part of my job and having to do it so often was exhausting. But traveling with travis made it just that little bit easier. Which is why I wish I had done what i was about to do sooner

With a deep sigh, Travis sat up in bed and rubbed his eyes tiredly. "Time to face the day," he muttered, reaching for his clothes.

I watched as he dressed quickly and efficiently, feeling a pang of jealousy at his effortless grace. Wishing I could move as fluidly as him, I forced myself to focus on packing my own bag, trying to ignore the nagging sensation that something wasn't quite right.

As solid as our relationship was I felt uneasy about the fact we had never spoken about that conversation had been on my mind since it happened and now we were going to be travleing together for 5 months and I wasn't ready to deal with it.

The silence stretched on uncomfortably as Travis sensed the tension emanating from me. Finally, unable to bear it any longer, he spoke. "Taylor, is everything okay?"

I had been watching him all morning and as much as he was looking forward to coming on tour with me I wasn't.

My heart pounded in my chest as I hesitated before answering honestly, "No, actually. There's something I need to talk to you about."

His expression shifted subtly, becoming guarded as he waited for me to continue. My throat tightened as I gathered the strength to say what needed to be said. "Travis, I don't think we should keep seeing each other romantically. At least not until I finish the tour and I can settle down."

His brow furrowed as he processed my statement, the realization slowly dawning on him. "What? Why are you saying this now?"

I hesitated for a moment, unsure if I wanted to reveal my true feelings or sugarcoat the situation. In the end, I decided honesty was the best policy. "Honestly, Travis, I feel like I've been putting you first for too long. I love spending time with you and being with you, but I also need to focus on the tour right now. It's not fair to either of us for me to continue leading you on when I have doubts about where this is headed."

His expression grew pained as he listened, understanding evident in his eyes. "I got into this relationship knowing about your tour, tay I know everything is about the tour for you I am more than happy being a second thought, you know that."

Feeling a lump form in my throat, I shook my head. "You want to settle down and have a family and as much as I want a family I can't and I don't think it is fair to make you wait any longer for me when no matter when it is i will never be able to have your kids"

Travis's POV

As Taylor finished speaking, I felt a mix of emotions swirling inside me - sadness, confusion, and most of all, love. Love for this incredible woman who has captured my heart in a way that nothing else ever has. Even though she mentioned doubt and uncertainty, deep down, I know that Taylor is an amazing person, and I believe in her wholeheartedly. I understand that she needs space to sort out her thoughts and priorities,

"please let me reassure you that I want you, Taylor, no matter what." I reassured her as a tear slipped down my face.

I had stayed strong this entier relationship I don't think i had cried in pain or sadness in front of her and yet here I was crying begging her to stay.

"I don't have to come with you on tour we can do long distance again, I will do anything to keep you." i begged as she broke down.

"Travis stop!" She shouted her voice shaky. "I fucked up my body and I can't give you everything, that isn't fair on you. This relationship isn't fair to you." She cried.

"My love, you are perfect." I said as she fell to the floor in tears.

"Just let me go," She begged screaming at the floor.

"I love you so much," I said giving in. "I love you taylor, if you want to leave I am not going to force you to stay," I said helping her up and kissing her head.

"Thank you travvy," She said, kissing me one last time before leaving our home for the last time.

The silence that followed her departure hung heavy in the air, almost suffocating. I collapsed onto the couch, feeling empty and lost without her presence. Memories of happier moments flashed through my mind, reminding me how lucky I was to have loved such an extraordinary woman. But I couldn't dwell on regrets; instead, I needed to focus on moving forward.

For weeks after Taylor left, I struggled with feelings of guilt and sadness. Every little thing reminded me of her, from the scent of her perfume lingering in the air to the sound of her laughter echoing in my ears. Yet despite these triggers, I refused to lose faith in myself or in our future. I knew that I wanted her back, but I also understood that I couldn't force her hand.