Echoes|| König x Reader x Ghost

♧5 Time Skip

I didn't care anymore.

But I couldn't escape Charlie. What a long shadow those two cast.

This is just cruel.

To love the first boy who loved me, to lose the first man who gave me the unconditional love of a parent, and the sun that led my way in the darkness in despair.

Was I fated to be the scapegoat for the world? Did God decide to sacrifice me for peace?

I felt nothing but resentment.

Against Makarov.

Against Laswell.

Against Price, Soap, Gaz, Roach, Ghost, Alejandro, and Rudy.

I hated them all.

But in all, I resented who I was to my core. I hated my autism. I hated autism. I hate myself so much! If I wasn't so worthless that I needed him this much he still be alive. I wish I was normal! Maybe I wouldn't have to lose so many.

Autism is nothing but a curse!

I am nothing but a curse...

I couldn't escape Charlie even if I tried. His absence was noticed. My absence in Soap's or Roach's vids. It didn't take long for them to realize he was gone. Seeing his fans grieve... I didn't feel so alone. I could not go anywhere without seeing him.

So, I slept.

I didn't leave my apartment for six months.

I wake in a haze crying often, and let my body almost become one with the bed. I ate in bed and didn't leave unless it was to get food or go to the bathroom. I struggled badly the money was nice but... it felt empty. I let myself rot to get miserable to feel the feelings even a bit. I knew how to cope but that was not the socially accepted way.

"Her name was Lola she was a showgirl..." I found myself relying heavily on music to process this depression in a manageable way, slow and constant. My depression was almost fascinating because of how cozy I got with it. It felt like home, a heaven from the pain of healing.

I fell off with every single person I was involved with, I had Fishtart stay with Zuri, and I just couldn't do anything at all. I stop my medication and everything. Most nights I stared at my ceiling letting my music roll over me and get lost in me. I could if I like, not do anything for the rest of my life... I almost let myself rot away to oblivion.

Sun kissed. Warm and sweet as honey. Those were the words to describe him. His dark hair that he cuts on his own, the layers. The lines in his smiles only deepen when they turn to me, how his eyes soften as they look at me... like I'm not a criminal

"Hey, I'm not singing this alone!" he laughs as he strums the guitar subconsciously playing heart and soul. His long finger set the beat of the song.

"Sing it!"

"Princess in the Moon,

My little moon dancer,

The stars play in your eyes, they dance a million waltzes,

Sway with me in the rain of stars,

My little moon stars."

"How cheesy Charlie."

"I'm trying!" he laughs, "I'm not a melodic singer you know that!" he waves his hand in the air.

"Gonna rap?"

"Bitch I can't rap with a guitar!" he snaps.

"You got a Fran Sinatra vibes."