Whispers of the Wolf

Their Loss

Radley

Oh my god.

Oh my god.

Oh my god.

The words were on a loop inside my head and I couldn't seem to break it. Claudia had asked me a couple of times if I was alright, as she had heard me mutter the words under my breath on a few occasions already this morning.

But ... I couldn't help it. I didn't know what had happened, where ... it ... had come from. Whenever I stopped to think about it, a cold wash of fear snaked through my body, chilling me right to my bones.

Oh my god.

After closing the front door behind me, I rubbed my hands together, wincing at how sore they were.

Hours of scrubbing last night and I was almost convinced that I had rubbed away the skin from my hands. They were red and raw and hurt like hell.

But they still felt dirty. Like they were covered in ...

No.

Don't even think about it.

It hadn't been my blood. I had checked myself thoroughly in the bathroom mirror, and again in the shower that I had immediately taken after waking up. I wasn't bleeding anywhere. In fact, my skin had looked healthy.

No, it definitely wasn't mine.

So, whose blood was it?

The shower had done little to settle the shivers that had gripped my body. Scrubbing, washing ... Nothing helped. I still felt ... dirty. Disgusting.

Oh my god.

I stood on the front porch, wrapping my arms around my waist, shivering. I wasn't sure if I was shivering from the cold or from the fright that still had its icy claws firmly in my chest, squeezing ... suffocating ...

My teeth chattered slightly and goosebumps rushed up and down my arms. I couldn't tell Claudia. Couldn't say anything to her. I mean, what would I even say anyway?

Taking a deep shaky breath, I glanced around the empty street, taking in the quiet houses on one side and the gloomy woods on the other. The sun was hidden behind gunmetal grey clouds, dark, foreboding ... making the day seem darker than it already was. The occasional rain drop fell on my face while the wind brushed through my hair, chilling my already cold skin.

What was I going to do?

Oh my god.

The front door opened behind me.

"Radley?" Claudia's voice floated to my ears. "Are you going out?"

Taking another deep breath, I willed my heart to stop racing, to calm down. Wiping a shaky and sore hand down my face, I grimaced instantly and my stomach churned as I remembered what had been on my hands last night.

I gulped and cleared my throat.

Oh my god.

"Uh, yeah," I answered her as I turned around. She was standing in the doorway, gripping the door handle, her shoulders hunched against the cold wind blowing outside. Her greying hair was pinned up away from her face and a frown etched across her lovely face.

"If you're going out, you'll need a coat." Her eyes scanned my body, dressed only in jeans and a hoodie, and her frown deepened. "Are you feeling alright?"

I nodded, not really sure how else to answer. How could I answer?

"You didn't eat breakfast, and you're pale." She pointed out as she wrapped her arms around herself, pulling her own thick woollen sweater tighter around her slim body.